the song completes that line as "this i know, for the Bible tells me so"
... it's the knowing part that I often struggle with. yes, i "know" that Jesus loves me, infact, I share it with people often... yay (well maybe not as often as i should).
...however there's that part of me that climbs out of me time and time again that whispers... "you are not satisfied with your life... didn't Jesus say you would be satisfied?" .
... this hint of temptation... that causes me to look away from the Lord and at myself and my own circumstance ... and say "what the heck is wrong with me?!? how come everyone else seems to have it right but me?!" ... the funny thing being that we all have this very similar issue.
I know Jesus loves me, but my heart wavers to the part of believing this knowledge, because it's easy to be distracted and get caught up in thinking Jesus' love towards me should always come as a physical blessing.
I was listening to a sermon today, and the preacher said, "yes, I still believe that the Lord wants to bless us" ...or something to that extent.
..and it's like a light dawned. Suddenly, the Lord met me, and seemed to whisper in my heart "yes, I want to bless you, yes I love you, .....yes I bled, for you."
it's as if I'm looking everywhere for the blessing, when the One who gives it is an arm's length away. Why do i have to relearn this lesson so many times??
"once it was the blessing now it is the Lord..."
Our vision of blessing is so skewed too, we view blessing through the world's eyes, when every blessing that God gives, brings glory to Himself. Sometimes it might be something that seems so positive, a new child, a marriage, a job opening, or an opportunity for ministry in something you are so passionate for.... other times a blessing might be loneliness, poverty, or a seemingly daunting task that is way over your head. The positive times and the difficult times... are all positive in the Lord's eyes, because He uses each and every one of them to bring glory to Himself, but also to change us into the likeness of Christ.
... and you know what is so good about that? ... well there are a lot of things...
... but one thing is that as we become more like Christ, we learn to abide in Him more, and we become more satisfied, more full of joy, more focused and obedient, more willing to accomplish the task at hand whatever it may be, and more in love with our Lord.
I'm sick of being dissatisfied, cuz honestly it makes me feel like crap. and i go into the phases where i just feel like blah. so .... today I will look to my Lord.
I know that He loves me, that everything He has given to me, will benefit me, and the body of Christ, and lead me onward towards His kingdom. I know He loves me, so I will learn to trust Him in everything. Even if it means bearing with some difficult stuff sometimes... because He gave me His strength to bear it.
...and the meat of all of this really comes down to... am i willing to put aside the distractions i would give myself to ignore my issues... tv, iphone games, facebook, movies, random tasks to obsess over...
...and am I willing to face my sin, face the issues that I deal with every day, face the challenges and lay them before the cross and spending that time in prayer and fellowship with my Lord, cuz if my life is any testimony... that is what makes the difference.
if I am willing to be loved by the Lord, to take that time and chat with Him like a friend, if I am willing to let myself go free and be embraced my Father, and no longer enslaved to the world and its lusts...
... then there is One waiting to shower me with His love, to pour down His blessings .... to instruct me and help me, to walk beside me as a friend, a brother, a master.
He is a beautiful Lord. May we know the depths of His love, and be willing to take the time to experience it in our lives.
Will you let the Lord love you today?
Monday, December 19, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
looking up... :)
there's something about looking horizontal that makes my heart grow cold and bitter. whether it's towards starvation in the Sudan that seems unnecessary with the world's wealth, or the game of politics that splashes the news night after night.... maybe it's the sickening fame that everyone seems to running after these days. ...or the false sense of "bliss" that comes with the holidays.... where the world tries to pretend through the media and advertisements, and a forced "spirit of giving" etc, etc ... that the world is alright after all.
...sorry not trying to dampen your spirit, just trying to be real.
not just looking at the world ... but at the Church ... at our friends, at our lives ... it's easy to get down.
...when we focus on the horizontal ... we focus on the temporary bliss, the temporary hurt, we get angry about little things, and depressed because things aren't going like the fairy tales promised they would. We judge, we compare, we obsess, and we digress into the black hole of self-absorption. It's no secret that this world is fading away... it's no secret that things are getting worse, ...and it's no secret that you and i don't look half as good as some of those made up chicks who's body parts are only half real.... ha. sorry. i just had to throw that in there to lighten things up some.
but friends. as a reminder to myself and to you.
...we do not belong here. it is not our home. may we not get fixated on the things that are temporal, for it will only bring sadness, dissatisfaction, frustration, and bitterness.
...but when we look to our Lord, not only do we have hope for a future, but we will know how to live today in His purpose, with joy and satisfaction, with peace, and graciousness, with sincerity in our love towards others, and a heart that is not afraid of being seen as "less than" or "foolish" by the world, because our God is great, and His promise is sure.
...and to make things even better... He promised that He would carry out what He began. So let us let go, and trust, that even in this crazy world, God is doing a mighty work.
May we look up and submit to His leading that we might walk in the peace and purpose that the Holy Spirit brings. :)
...sorry not trying to dampen your spirit, just trying to be real.
not just looking at the world ... but at the Church ... at our friends, at our lives ... it's easy to get down.
...when we focus on the horizontal ... we focus on the temporary bliss, the temporary hurt, we get angry about little things, and depressed because things aren't going like the fairy tales promised they would. We judge, we compare, we obsess, and we digress into the black hole of self-absorption. It's no secret that this world is fading away... it's no secret that things are getting worse, ...and it's no secret that you and i don't look half as good as some of those made up chicks who's body parts are only half real.... ha. sorry. i just had to throw that in there to lighten things up some.
but friends. as a reminder to myself and to you.
...we do not belong here. it is not our home. may we not get fixated on the things that are temporal, for it will only bring sadness, dissatisfaction, frustration, and bitterness.
...but when we look to our Lord, not only do we have hope for a future, but we will know how to live today in His purpose, with joy and satisfaction, with peace, and graciousness, with sincerity in our love towards others, and a heart that is not afraid of being seen as "less than" or "foolish" by the world, because our God is great, and His promise is sure.
...and to make things even better... He promised that He would carry out what He began. So let us let go, and trust, that even in this crazy world, God is doing a mighty work.
May we look up and submit to His leading that we might walk in the peace and purpose that the Holy Spirit brings. :)
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
halfway there...
"After you give yourself to the Lord, he begins to break what was offered to Him. Everything seems to go wrong, and you protest and find fault with the ways of God. But to say there is to be no more than a broken vessel - no good for the world because you have gone to far for the world to use you, and no good for God either, because you have not gone far enough for Him to use you. You are out of gear with the world, and you have controversy with God. This is the tragedy of many a Christian." -Watchman Nee, NCL
is this true?
At first one like myself might think that God could use us at any stage... whether we have given our all or not... and I think it's true, for the sake of his own glory, He will sometimes use one who is lukewarm. But how much can you do with someone who is only half into what you are doing.
...Say you are on a mission to find a long lost family member in France, but you only have one week's time to go on this search. You go to Paris ... and are so attracted by the Eiffel tower and "L'Arc de Triomphe, the designer clothes and the beautiful gardens ... that you find yourself spending less time what you originally came for, even though time is short.
Is this not we are today? Are we not lukewarm? Are we not seeking after vanities of vanities? Are we not often grasping after something that is dying?
I sometimes obey the Lord, I sometimes get up early enough for morning devotions, I sometimes pray for the lost and struggling, I sometimes trust in the Lord's strength instead of my own, I sometimes really mean it when I say 'Lord I give you my all".
I also sometimes choose tv over the Lord, I sometimes fool around too much on facebook even when an urge comes for me to go to bed. I sometimes don't talk to people even though I should, because I'm a coward and often don't trust in the Lord's strength.
"'I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.'" - Revelation 3:15-22
"My giving myself to the Lord, must be an initial fundamental act. Then, day by day, I must go on giving to Him, not finding fault with his use of me, but accepting with praise even what the flesh finds hard. That way lies true enrichment....I do no consecrate myself to be a missionary or a preacher; I consecrate myself to God to do His will where I am, be it in school, office or kitchen or wherever he may, in his wisdom, send me...May we always be possessed with this consciousness that we are not our own." - Watchman Nee, NCL
It is all or nothing my friends... may we, by the Lord's grace, be zealous and repent, and may He anoint our eyes with salve that we may see what is real, the reality of His Lordship and his coming kingdom. May our deepest desire be after solely this, and may our eyes not waiver from the Prize.
is this true?
At first one like myself might think that God could use us at any stage... whether we have given our all or not... and I think it's true, for the sake of his own glory, He will sometimes use one who is lukewarm. But how much can you do with someone who is only half into what you are doing.
...Say you are on a mission to find a long lost family member in France, but you only have one week's time to go on this search. You go to Paris ... and are so attracted by the Eiffel tower and "L'Arc de Triomphe, the designer clothes and the beautiful gardens ... that you find yourself spending less time what you originally came for, even though time is short.
Is this not we are today? Are we not lukewarm? Are we not seeking after vanities of vanities? Are we not often grasping after something that is dying?
I sometimes obey the Lord, I sometimes get up early enough for morning devotions, I sometimes pray for the lost and struggling, I sometimes trust in the Lord's strength instead of my own, I sometimes really mean it when I say 'Lord I give you my all".
I also sometimes choose tv over the Lord, I sometimes fool around too much on facebook even when an urge comes for me to go to bed. I sometimes don't talk to people even though I should, because I'm a coward and often don't trust in the Lord's strength.
"'I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.'" - Revelation 3:15-22
"My giving myself to the Lord, must be an initial fundamental act. Then, day by day, I must go on giving to Him, not finding fault with his use of me, but accepting with praise even what the flesh finds hard. That way lies true enrichment....I do no consecrate myself to be a missionary or a preacher; I consecrate myself to God to do His will where I am, be it in school, office or kitchen or wherever he may, in his wisdom, send me...May we always be possessed with this consciousness that we are not our own." - Watchman Nee, NCL
It is all or nothing my friends... may we, by the Lord's grace, be zealous and repent, and may He anoint our eyes with salve that we may see what is real, the reality of His Lordship and his coming kingdom. May our deepest desire be after solely this, and may our eyes not waiver from the Prize.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
stop moping around .....praise Him!
lately there has been a lot of fog. a lot of not knowing what the future will look like. a lot of not knowing what to do with the current circumstances. a lot of not knowing how to process different happenings in life. not knowing how to be a good testimony, not knowing how to face the challenges that come up at work, in the body of Christ, and my personal experiences. i've finally come to the point of not knowing anything.
with little strength, little wisdom, and a way full of uncertainty ... I come before the throne of grace.
i have been reminded recently, by the Holy Spirit, that I need to lift up my voice in praise.
giving praise to God ...during the times of utter chaos and confusion, during times where the clouds have just rolled in, during times that it seems everyone is swimming the opposite direction, and times where strength is non-existent.... giving praise to God in these times seems so irrational, doesn't it? ... i mean the rest of the world would tell us to blame God ... remember Job's experience?
But one of God's great mysteries .... is that when we praise Him in the midst of crisis... how often do we feel immediately strengthened by Him? when we Praise for no other reason apart from his death on the cross .... even in this... do we not find rest in giving Him praise? Do we not somehow, because of lifting our eye to give thanks to Jesus, feel so incredibly blessed, and suddenly in the Lord's presence. What a blessing it is to lift our hearts and our thanks to Jesus in times of difficulty.
He is always worthy of being praised, but I believe that if we're willing to praise Him during these hard times, then we have recognized that life is not all about us. We've finally come to a place where we can say, "Jesus, I love you and worship You, because you are seated on the throne! You are Lord, and King, and Your Name is to be ever trusted!" ... when we do this, even in praising Him, we are denying ourselves, and because of this ... we can enter into the Joy of the Lord, and be at peace.
So praise Him! He is always worthy of our praise ... but are we willing to offer it up? Are we willing to stop moping around, and lift our praises, our hands, our hearts and our lives to worship the King?
oh... in doing so, we will find much greater fulfillment then we currently know in our circumstance.
Lord, teach us to praise you, help us to lift our voices and sing a song of thanksgiving, to the One who has given us everything.
with little strength, little wisdom, and a way full of uncertainty ... I come before the throne of grace.
i have been reminded recently, by the Holy Spirit, that I need to lift up my voice in praise.
giving praise to God ...during the times of utter chaos and confusion, during times where the clouds have just rolled in, during times that it seems everyone is swimming the opposite direction, and times where strength is non-existent.... giving praise to God in these times seems so irrational, doesn't it? ... i mean the rest of the world would tell us to blame God ... remember Job's experience?
But one of God's great mysteries .... is that when we praise Him in the midst of crisis... how often do we feel immediately strengthened by Him? when we Praise for no other reason apart from his death on the cross .... even in this... do we not find rest in giving Him praise? Do we not somehow, because of lifting our eye to give thanks to Jesus, feel so incredibly blessed, and suddenly in the Lord's presence. What a blessing it is to lift our hearts and our thanks to Jesus in times of difficulty.
He is always worthy of being praised, but I believe that if we're willing to praise Him during these hard times, then we have recognized that life is not all about us. We've finally come to a place where we can say, "Jesus, I love you and worship You, because you are seated on the throne! You are Lord, and King, and Your Name is to be ever trusted!" ... when we do this, even in praising Him, we are denying ourselves, and because of this ... we can enter into the Joy of the Lord, and be at peace.
So praise Him! He is always worthy of our praise ... but are we willing to offer it up? Are we willing to stop moping around, and lift our praises, our hands, our hearts and our lives to worship the King?
oh... in doing so, we will find much greater fulfillment then we currently know in our circumstance.
Lord, teach us to praise you, help us to lift our voices and sing a song of thanksgiving, to the One who has given us everything.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
longing for heaven and home...
as i drove home today... this first verse seemed to speak to exactly what i was feeling.
....there was some craziness that happened today that made me just long for heaven's gates. Oh how depraved this world is. How full of greed, hate, anger, depression, sadness, confusion, sickness and death it is... to which all are linked to sin. What a glorious day it will be when our Lord returns & darkness no long has dominion!
...but in reality, as i meditate on these things, Satan, sin and death have already been dealt with on the cross, right? It seems to me that it made a way for us to choose life over death, which before the option was not available for us. We can now choose to live by the Holy Spirit, instead of by the rules of sin, satan, and death aka the ways of the world. However, these things are still very present around us in the world, but the key is to keep our eyes fixed on the things above ... and to remember that we are in this world, but not of it, "we're just a passing through".
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." -Colossians 3:1-4
praise be to Jesus. let us seek the things that are above...and set our minds on things that are above. For to be hidden in Christ is our glory, through His death burial and resurrection, we are In Christ Jesus.
but there is a Day coming, when Satan and sin and suffering will be no longer... and what a beautiful day that will be! A day of rejoicing! Let our hearts be glad, because His eye is on the sparrow, and He will one day return for His bride. :) Praise be to our Lord!
gnight :).
....there was some craziness that happened today that made me just long for heaven's gates. Oh how depraved this world is. How full of greed, hate, anger, depression, sadness, confusion, sickness and death it is... to which all are linked to sin. What a glorious day it will be when our Lord returns & darkness no long has dominion!
...but in reality, as i meditate on these things, Satan, sin and death have already been dealt with on the cross, right? It seems to me that it made a way for us to choose life over death, which before the option was not available for us. We can now choose to live by the Holy Spirit, instead of by the rules of sin, satan, and death aka the ways of the world. However, these things are still very present around us in the world, but the key is to keep our eyes fixed on the things above ... and to remember that we are in this world, but not of it, "we're just a passing through".
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." -Colossians 3:1-4
praise be to Jesus. let us seek the things that are above...and set our minds on things that are above. For to be hidden in Christ is our glory, through His death burial and resurrection, we are In Christ Jesus.
but there is a Day coming, when Satan and sin and suffering will be no longer... and what a beautiful day that will be! A day of rejoicing! Let our hearts be glad, because His eye is on the sparrow, and He will one day return for His bride. :) Praise be to our Lord!
gnight :).
Sunday, October 16, 2011
letting go.
I am so thankful for the last week, and the abundance of grace that the Lord has poured out on me. I feel like this renewing that has happened in my spirit, is nothing of what I have done, but must be due to the Lord relentlessly pursuing after me. What a gracious, loving, merciful heavenly Father we have.
finally being able to truly come before him without the world getting in the way...
...it's amazing the peace that His presence brings. It's amazing that when one truly enters into His love and understands His Lordship, how little and insignificant everything else becomes.
I was striving, and working to pursue something "good". ... and now I know I must pursue only God, who is the only One who is good.
"My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;
'Tis His to lead me there—not mine, but His—
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road."
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/nt/350#ixzz1b13qh4xH
finally being able to truly come before him without the world getting in the way...
...it's amazing the peace that His presence brings. It's amazing that when one truly enters into His love and understands His Lordship, how little and insignificant everything else becomes.
I was striving, and working to pursue something "good". ... and now I know I must pursue only God, who is the only One who is good.
"My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;
'Tis His to lead me there—not mine, but His—
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road."
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/nt/350#ixzz1b13qh4xH
Be sovereign, Oh Lord. Take back the crown that we have taken from you for too long, and take your place on the throne of our hearts. Have Your way in us, and help us to surrender to it in joy. :).
May our sole pursuit be You and Your Kingdom.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
done with me.
sometimes i just really need to learn to deny myself. and i think for each of us we can say God gives us ample opportunity to do so. ....but often times we are so blind in our own selfish ways of doing things, blind to our own manipulative ways we have of drowning out God's voice.
.... but how refreshing is it... when a brother or sister comes and points out something off in our lives that seems so obvious to them. Thank the Lord that our brothers and sisters are the ones who keep us accountable, who sharpen us, and who help keep us on the straight and narrow and get us back in the Lord, when we may have been caught up in ourselves for too long, and lost in our own train of thought.
tonight i just feel like i need to be done thinking, done evaluating, done analyzing, done with me and my head, my ideas of what is right and wrong, done with my ideas of what is good and bad, done with me perceptions of this world. done with my interpretations. and just done with me.
Jesus is all.
.... so why am I wasting time.... trying to glorify myself.... i'm just making a fool of me that's all.
Jesus is all.
...so why do i spend so much time planning, and deciphering, weighing options, and just getting caught up in the details.
Jesus is EVerything
... so shut up already Jess and let him do His thing!
May all glory and honor and praises be unto Him who sits on the throne.
:).
i love my Maker.
He is so very patient, and so very kind.
And so willing to change us, by doing whatever it takes.
:)
And I'm am so blessed to be a part of the Body of Christ.
gnight friends.
.... but how refreshing is it... when a brother or sister comes and points out something off in our lives that seems so obvious to them. Thank the Lord that our brothers and sisters are the ones who keep us accountable, who sharpen us, and who help keep us on the straight and narrow and get us back in the Lord, when we may have been caught up in ourselves for too long, and lost in our own train of thought.
tonight i just feel like i need to be done thinking, done evaluating, done analyzing, done with me and my head, my ideas of what is right and wrong, done with my ideas of what is good and bad, done with me perceptions of this world. done with my interpretations. and just done with me.
Jesus is all.
.... so why am I wasting time.... trying to glorify myself.... i'm just making a fool of me that's all.
Jesus is all.
...so why do i spend so much time planning, and deciphering, weighing options, and just getting caught up in the details.
Jesus is EVerything
... so shut up already Jess and let him do His thing!
May all glory and honor and praises be unto Him who sits on the throne.
:).
i love my Maker.
He is so very patient, and so very kind.
And so willing to change us, by doing whatever it takes.
:)
And I'm am so blessed to be a part of the Body of Christ.
gnight friends.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
sickly = time to reflect...
...i have now been sickly for at least two days.... the typical cold.... sore throat, runny nose, congestion that makes you sound like one of the looney tunes :-p, and an intermittent low-grade fever... now the cough is starting :-/.
but i really feel like it's all due to me pushing myself too hard in the last week or two... staying up too late when i knew i should have gone to bed earlier... trying to be superhero to everyone else.. and trying to fix my own dilemma's with my own strength.
... in actuality I can really thank the Lord that he has allowed me to get sick, because I feel it to be some sort of discipline for me to get back on track with Him... and actually listen to what He has to say. And to also gives me a break from the craziness of this world and living inside the complicated thoughts in my own head....
....that i might just be still and know that He is God.
after 2 days of illness... i'm finally feeling the Lord's presence closer, and finally feeling refreshed. In this it is clear that it is the Lord's doing... because is it normal to feel better after getting sick? haha. I love Jesus, and the wonderful ways He works. He knows exactly what we need at the time we need it. And He will do whatever to win us back to Him, praise His glorious Name! :).
...sometimes He lets everything come crashing down at once so He'll get our attention. He might bring confusing situations... or illness.... or ...ahem.. a broken vehicle ... .. or even those times of loneliness where everyone you would have wanted to talk with seems busy... etc etc etc....you fill in the blank.
But if we take a step back, surely it is all because He is after our hearts ... and these situations teach us to be after His. ...after His heart that is.
He knows what buttons to push in order to get us to come back to Him... sometimes i feel like i am so incredibly stubborn... it takes quite a few buttons. But thank the Lord in His mercy, He disciplines us. :)
Be blessed this night in knowing that all things work together for the good of those who Love God and are called according to His purpose...
... because He is the one putting the puzzle together, not us ... may we learn once again to say ... "yes, Lord".. and submit to His glorious, perfect will....which in the End will be soooo worth it.
....but even just His presence today is enough :). Thank you, Jesus.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
when we are weak...
this week has been hard. something going on every night and 5 days straight of nursing (aka work) ...plus my inability to go to bed as early as i should. i feel like i could probably sleep for 24 hours if i was given the option, but instead I have to get up at 6am again tomorrow morning (6:25 by the time i hit the buzzer 3 times). Not that i don't enjoy what I do or how I serve within the Church..... this week i'm just tired, and it's all a lot. But in all of it I really praise the Lord, because after a week of feeling a bit distant spiritually, and me slacking in my morning devotions, the Lord in His mercy gave me this week. .... that in all of it I might learn to carry my cross and learn once again that if i'm not depending on Him, my life has no meaning or purpose.
when we are weak, we are so quick to look at our circumstances. Sometimes we look at the frustrating situation that we may be in or we may look at ourselves and the abundance of mistakes we can't seem to stop making. We might look at the people around us and blame them for our problems. But over and over again this week through frustrating situations, self blame, and blaming others.. .... i've been hearing from the Lord.... "look away unto Me".... almost as if a voice is calling from another land .... "Look away unto me"
... i love that this phrase includes the word "away"... it's actively looking away from whatever you are looking at now... to look to Jesus.
so many of the decisions i make each day are related to my own ideas...
...most of the feelings i feel are because of some sort of selfishness.
but when i am obedient to looking away unto Jesus.... it is like as i look away ... it's just like the song "the things of this world will grow strangely dim" ... and i imagine it like the noises of my life that have blocked out the Lord for so long, are now quickly fading behind me.
the great thing about looking away unto Jesus, is that it is the most simple of all things we could do.
The other day in the middle of a crazy shift at work, I had a second where I wasn't caught up in the craziness of the day.... and in that small moment ... only maybe 10 seconds or so.. I remembered the Lord, and just in that moment I felt peace and i felt rejuvenated
Looking away unto Jesus is not some sort of ritual or step by step process. it's just exactly as stated.... we take a second, maybe a minute, or an hour, or more to just stop and look at Him, to quiet our hearts, and just fix our eyes at Himself and His glory.
Looking unto Jesus is all it takes to change us.
so when you are weak, and when you are hurting, and when you are too busy to even know where you're at spiritually ... if it's even for a moment, ....stop... and look away unto Jesus. In gazing at His face, you will be changed... healed... renewed....revived.... and redirected.
Why wouldn't we look away to Him?
when we are weak, we are so quick to look at our circumstances. Sometimes we look at the frustrating situation that we may be in or we may look at ourselves and the abundance of mistakes we can't seem to stop making. We might look at the people around us and blame them for our problems. But over and over again this week through frustrating situations, self blame, and blaming others.. .... i've been hearing from the Lord.... "look away unto Me".... almost as if a voice is calling from another land .... "Look away unto me"
... i love that this phrase includes the word "away"... it's actively looking away from whatever you are looking at now... to look to Jesus.
so many of the decisions i make each day are related to my own ideas...
...most of the feelings i feel are because of some sort of selfishness.
but when i am obedient to looking away unto Jesus.... it is like as i look away ... it's just like the song "the things of this world will grow strangely dim" ... and i imagine it like the noises of my life that have blocked out the Lord for so long, are now quickly fading behind me.
the great thing about looking away unto Jesus, is that it is the most simple of all things we could do.
The other day in the middle of a crazy shift at work, I had a second where I wasn't caught up in the craziness of the day.... and in that small moment ... only maybe 10 seconds or so.. I remembered the Lord, and just in that moment I felt peace and i felt rejuvenated
Looking away unto Jesus is not some sort of ritual or step by step process. it's just exactly as stated.... we take a second, maybe a minute, or an hour, or more to just stop and look at Him, to quiet our hearts, and just fix our eyes at Himself and His glory.
Looking unto Jesus is all it takes to change us.
so when you are weak, and when you are hurting, and when you are too busy to even know where you're at spiritually ... if it's even for a moment, ....stop... and look away unto Jesus. In gazing at His face, you will be changed... healed... renewed....revived.... and redirected.
Why wouldn't we look away to Him?
Friday, September 16, 2011
mercy knows no end.
today as I opened up the Word finally ... after being side tracked too many times...I had this expectation of punishment of needing to be scolded for what I had done and my disobedience to the Lord in so many little things.
... but as I thought about God's mercy, and tried to wrap my mind around this. The Lord gave me a visual. It's like I felt like fire and brimstone were about to fall down on me... when i said "wait! here's the blood of Jesus" and the Lord seemed to say to me gently "oh dear Child, welcome back into my presence"
...and i was immediately reminded of Issac, laying on that alter... waiting to be slain by his father. When the Angel cried "Abraham, wait!" Only to have the blood of the ram replace his destiny.
How precious is the blood of our Lord Jesus, that no matter how many times we fall short, if we present the blood of JEsus before the father we have a way in to His presence, and it's not like we just get to experience a little now that we messed up ... no ... the Lord longs that we would know the fullness of Himself.
How blessed we are to know such mercy and love!!
an encouraging passage of scripture from today....
"For ask now of the days that are past, which were before you, since the day that God created man on the earth, and ask from one end of heaven to the other, whether such a great thing as this has ever happened or was ever heard of. Did any people ever hear the voice of a god speaking out of the midst of the fire, as you have heard, and still live? Or has any god ever attempted to go and take a nation for himself from the midst of another nation, by trials, by signs, by wonders, and by war, by a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, and by great deeds of terror, all of which the LORD your God did for you in Egypt before your eyes? To you it was shown, that you might know that the LORD is God; there is no other besides him. Out of heaven he let you hear his voice, that he might discipline you. And on earth he let you see his great fire, and you heard his words out of the midst of the fire. And because he loved your fathers and chose their offspring after them and brought you out of Egypt with his own presence, by his great power, driving out before you nations greater and mightier than yourselves, to bring you in, to give you their land for an inheritance, as it is this day, know therefore today, and lay it to your heart, that the LORD is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other. Therefore you shall keep his statutes and his commandments, which I command you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land that the LORD your God is giving you for all time."
-Deuteronomy 4:32-40
....more evidence of God's beautiful mercy towards His people :). note that discipline is also a form of mercy.
... but as I thought about God's mercy, and tried to wrap my mind around this. The Lord gave me a visual. It's like I felt like fire and brimstone were about to fall down on me... when i said "wait! here's the blood of Jesus" and the Lord seemed to say to me gently "oh dear Child, welcome back into my presence"
...and i was immediately reminded of Issac, laying on that alter... waiting to be slain by his father. When the Angel cried "Abraham, wait!" Only to have the blood of the ram replace his destiny.
How precious is the blood of our Lord Jesus, that no matter how many times we fall short, if we present the blood of JEsus before the father we have a way in to His presence, and it's not like we just get to experience a little now that we messed up ... no ... the Lord longs that we would know the fullness of Himself.
How blessed we are to know such mercy and love!!
an encouraging passage of scripture from today....
"For ask now of the days that are past, which were before you, since the day that God created man on the earth, and ask from one end of heaven to the other, whether such a great thing as this has ever happened or was ever heard of. Did any people ever hear the voice of a god speaking out of the midst of the fire, as you have heard, and still live? Or has any god ever attempted to go and take a nation for himself from the midst of another nation, by trials, by signs, by wonders, and by war, by a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, and by great deeds of terror, all of which the LORD your God did for you in Egypt before your eyes? To you it was shown, that you might know that the LORD is God; there is no other besides him. Out of heaven he let you hear his voice, that he might discipline you. And on earth he let you see his great fire, and you heard his words out of the midst of the fire. And because he loved your fathers and chose their offspring after them and brought you out of Egypt with his own presence, by his great power, driving out before you nations greater and mightier than yourselves, to bring you in, to give you their land for an inheritance, as it is this day, know therefore today, and lay it to your heart, that the LORD is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other. Therefore you shall keep his statutes and his commandments, which I command you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land that the LORD your God is giving you for all time."
-Deuteronomy 4:32-40
....more evidence of God's beautiful mercy towards His people :). note that discipline is also a form of mercy.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
my prayer to You tonight
in a poetic mood i guess... sometimes i just feel the Lord communicates to me better through rhyme...
I’m sick of the way I’ve been treating my God
I’m disgusted by how quick I ignore Him
The one Who in glory has given His all to me
I’m so quick to put me before Him
So my prayer before You tonight, O Lord
Is that you’d strip me of my selfish ways
That you’d ruin this heart for all but You,
And keep me from going astray
Oh precious Lord, be my vision
Let not earthly matters catch my gaze
Pour out Your love in abounding measure
so I’d be drawn to you all my days.
Give me ears to hear and a humble heart
And a spirit that’s willing to obey
Keep me abiding in the Lord Jesus Christ
May You be my hope and stay.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
problem solver extraordinaire...
...or so I think.
I wrote this poem last night ... it essentially what the Lord has been teaching me through many experiences and messages recently...
Problem Solver ...
Everywhere I looked, there was a problem to solve,
whether finding a cheap flight, or fixing my TV.
I loved the thrill of putting the puzzle pieces together.
Knowing that I could accomplish it, would satisfy me.
So I had this brilliant idea, thought I knew what was best
I could bring my love for problem-solving into the House of God.
For it seems there's soo much wrong, God must want me to help out.
So I let myself go to work, like it was my job.
But amidst my "good intentions" came unnecessary interventions
and I tried to fix the Church with my own two hands,
that only got weary... and raw... and broken....
'till I came to the conclusion... ... I .. am a sinful man.
Who do I think that I am, trying to mess with God's plan?!
Trying to reconstruct God's House into the way I thought it should be?
Did I really think what the Spirit had started, the flesh could complete?
But I realized....I couldn't make the Church change, until I let... God ...change... me.
..and when I submit, it's one.. less... obstacle.., getting in the way, of Him, ...working freely.
I wrote this poem last night ... it essentially what the Lord has been teaching me through many experiences and messages recently...
Problem Solver ...
Everywhere I looked, there was a problem to solve,
whether finding a cheap flight, or fixing my TV.
I loved the thrill of putting the puzzle pieces together.
Knowing that I could accomplish it, would satisfy me.
So I had this brilliant idea, thought I knew what was best
I could bring my love for problem-solving into the House of God.
For it seems there's soo much wrong, God must want me to help out.
So I let myself go to work, like it was my job.
But amidst my "good intentions" came unnecessary interventions
and I tried to fix the Church with my own two hands,
that only got weary... and raw... and broken....
'till I came to the conclusion... ... I .. am a sinful man.
Who do I think that I am, trying to mess with God's plan?!
Trying to reconstruct God's House into the way I thought it should be?
Did I really think what the Spirit had started, the flesh could complete?
But I realized....I couldn't make the Church change, until I let... God ...change... me.
..and when I submit, it's one.. less... obstacle.., getting in the way, of Him, ...working freely.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
my time wasted...
a prayer request brought up this week was that we need to see what the Lord would have us do with where we're at right now, and the time we have in this world. I also echoed this prayer, specifying that the Lord would help us be faithful to him on a moment by moment basis, submitting to His will and being sensitive to His spirit.
...however, 2 days post prayer meeting, and I already find myself rejecting the voice of the Holy Spirit, and spending my time as I know how to best ... wasted.
so i came home and made dinner, turned on the news for a few minutes until i didn't find it interesting anymore and then took out the trash. I was thinking about washing dishes ... and then the thought came to me that I could listen to a message while washing dishes and I would be encouraged while doing the housework I like the least. :-p. (i'm learning to enjoy it more lately though)
... however i was just skimming the internet world news.. since i find it more interesting than the local news ... and was reminded that the republican presidential candidate debate had gone on tonight... an hour or so later .. the dishes were done, the kitchen was clean and I was intrigued and enveloped in the political debate i had been watching (a rarity of interest that only comes across me on election years). A debate, that is fascinating for sure, but even as the future of our country is important, our Lord is the one who has the final say...and He is the one I should be spending the most time with.
....Following this I was thinking maybe I should spend some time in the Word ... but instead i got caught up managing finances, and looking at my phone upgrade options...obsessing over whether or not I should wait for the iphone 5 to come out before i upgrade.
...and minutes turn to hours....
... and a whole afternoon of what the Spirit had intended for rich fellowship and purpose... i rejected for my own gain ... which was not actually gain at all. It was pure loss of precious moments that I could have drawn closer to my Lord, and pursued his purpose instead of my own, knowing that His way is always higher than mine.
As I stared into the emptiness of my fridge later in the evening, I was reminded that I also thought of going grocery shopping earlier, since I had a free night, but lost in the buzz of the internet and the chaos of my own mind's intentions, I lost another simple opportunity that the Lord intended for simple productivity and rich fellowship.
I write this out not to become all depressed because of my state, but as a red flag, to help spread awareness to myself and others of how easy it is to push aside the thoughts of our Lord, the God of this Universe. It is so easy to give in to the temptation of acknowledging our own will as more perfect than the Lord's will and intention for us.
I've come to know my own flaws a bit. And i know that if i don't say yes to the Lord when he first nudges me, it becomes easier and easier to push Him aside... and the nudges seem to grow weaker and weaker (or I am just puffing up myself more and more).
(--->listen to Dave Peng's messages on "He must increase, I must decrease", for expounding on how puffing ourselves up is the only way we can decrease the Lord in our life --> http://www.seattlechristianassembly.org/Messages/SpecialMsgsEn.html)
so my challenge to myself and to all of you, is to say yes to the Lord, the first time he asks something of us, or nudges us in a certain direction. I pray that the Lord would be our help and our strength in this as well. I pray that He would draw us closer to himself, that each nudge might seem a little more obvious, and a little more convincing to us.
may we learn to submit ourselves more than yearly or monthly or weekly, but day by day and moment by moment to the leading of the Holy Spirit, and the Lord God Almighty. For there is none better than Him who should lead our hearts and our lives.
Monday, August 29, 2011
"every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes"
I am stuck in John 15. I feel like I can't move on from this chapter without letting it marinate within me. It is so very rich. So much truth, so much revelation about the relationship between God and us.
but as I was reading this same chapter this morning and then again this evening, both times I had to stop at this one part and just let it sink in and understand it as a reality ... "every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes"(verse 2)
... now hold up. It seems to me that if it's bearing bruit, it's doing it's job right? then why on earth prune it?
but the second part of the verse... "that it may bear more fruit".
the Lord has been showing me recently that He is always longing for more of us. He is gracious and loving and only shows us as much of ourselves as we can handle in order to change us... but little by little as time moves on he shines more and more light into our lives.... he gives us challenges, sometimes things we don't make complete sense of ... but afterwards we realize we are closer to than ever... and we are doing things that we never would have done before. how precious is our Lord.
we long to be useful to God ... but this can only happen if we realize how useless we actually are... in this chapter it says "apart from me you can do nothing" (verse 5).
Abiding in Him means never being apart from Him, it is about allowing Him to prune us as He deems necessary, it means trusting Him as our source of life, our source of being.
pruning.....
.... it's so strange if you think about it. But it is such a picture of the Lord's work in our lives. When a tree is pruned, it seems that something, even good, is cut off, but it the end we find something far better.
It is the same in our lives, sometimes the Lord removes even what is good, that we might know that which is better... and that indeed, is our Lord Jesus Christ.
He longs for us to know His closeness and His love, He longs for us to know Himself, His heart and His intentions. He knows that this way is so far better than any other way, that he will cut off even what may be good in our lives, to achieve this.
...and we so "oh Lord, how could you take this away from me?!"
...and yet how could He not?? He loves us to much! It is His love and mercy that leads Him to take away things in our lives and place us within challenges that seem so difficult, because He knows that through these things we will gain something far better. We will gain Christ.
Praise the Lord He is all we could ever want and need... He is our full sufficiency, our Help, our Joy, our Eternal Hope.
"These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full" - John 15:11
Do not be discouraged by the many struggles that we face... but know in every one of them, is an opportunity for redemption and a way to draw nearer to our Lord.
Praise His glorious Name. : )
but as I was reading this same chapter this morning and then again this evening, both times I had to stop at this one part and just let it sink in and understand it as a reality ... "every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes"(verse 2)
... now hold up. It seems to me that if it's bearing bruit, it's doing it's job right? then why on earth prune it?
but the second part of the verse... "that it may bear more fruit".
the Lord has been showing me recently that He is always longing for more of us. He is gracious and loving and only shows us as much of ourselves as we can handle in order to change us... but little by little as time moves on he shines more and more light into our lives.... he gives us challenges, sometimes things we don't make complete sense of ... but afterwards we realize we are closer to than ever... and we are doing things that we never would have done before. how precious is our Lord.
we long to be useful to God ... but this can only happen if we realize how useless we actually are... in this chapter it says "apart from me you can do nothing" (verse 5).
Abiding in Him means never being apart from Him, it is about allowing Him to prune us as He deems necessary, it means trusting Him as our source of life, our source of being.
pruning.....
.... it's so strange if you think about it. But it is such a picture of the Lord's work in our lives. When a tree is pruned, it seems that something, even good, is cut off, but it the end we find something far better.
It is the same in our lives, sometimes the Lord removes even what is good, that we might know that which is better... and that indeed, is our Lord Jesus Christ.
He longs for us to know His closeness and His love, He longs for us to know Himself, His heart and His intentions. He knows that this way is so far better than any other way, that he will cut off even what may be good in our lives, to achieve this.
...and we so "oh Lord, how could you take this away from me?!"
...and yet how could He not?? He loves us to much! It is His love and mercy that leads Him to take away things in our lives and place us within challenges that seem so difficult, because He knows that through these things we will gain something far better. We will gain Christ.
Praise the Lord He is all we could ever want and need... He is our full sufficiency, our Help, our Joy, our Eternal Hope.
"These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full" - John 15:11
Do not be discouraged by the many struggles that we face... but know in every one of them, is an opportunity for redemption and a way to draw nearer to our Lord.
Praise His glorious Name. : )
Monday, August 22, 2011
to be uncertain ... is to know our Lord.
it seems like everyone i know is in some position of uncertainty right now, especially among my Christian friends. It's like there is something testing our ability to let this world go. We so love our control and our idea of what our lives should look like and yet at the same time we often don't even really know what we want. We live in this act of juggling our fears, desires, lusts, ambitions, etc.
...and yet deep within us there is a longing to be close to the Lord.
Yet we don't know how to balance that with the rest of our life.
And so we try our best to try to figure out what we want verses what God wants and we play this game of give and take.
And i've done this for so long. And I keep doing it... thinking out of the best intentions... that I know what i'm doing and I know what's right.
But reality speaks otherwise, and God shines light like i've never seen before into the depths of my heart, and shows me the cold, ugly, truth. I am a sinner. There is not one ounce of good in my intentions. They are all out of selfish ambition and pride.
...But thank the Lord ... He is a great Savior. and not only that ... but He is our all in all. He has given us His very life, that we can lay down our sinful nature at the foot of the cross.
.... and by taking up our cross and following Him, we learn to walk in His life. A mystery, that I have only begun to understand as I take baby steps behind Him.
taking up our cross = learning how to live in Christ. hmm...
oh how we wish there was another way.... ....but even our Lord Jesus at the garden of Gethsemane, though his human nature wanted otherwise, He said "Not my will but Thine be done".
... and though in his flesh at that moment it did not seem to be a glorious thing, He knew by the grace of God that that is exactly what it would be.... and He knew that He wanted to be with us. So he walked the road of Calvary, that we might know and live out His glorious Life and be one with Him. How precious.
Now, right now... it hurts to deny ourselves... heck, I cry out to God in agony sometimes just wishing He would relieve me of some of the struggles of the world. And His response.... "I love you , child" ... oh that we would know the heart of the Father.
May we learn to praise Him when things don't go our way. May we learn to lift our voice and sing hallelujah ... because if nothing else, He saved us ... and in this struggle ... He is drawing us to His side.
Our Lord is beautiful, may we learn to surrender, and trust that He knows what He's doing ... even when what we're facing is ugly. His vision sees far more than ours.
Lord, help us to praise you.
...and yet deep within us there is a longing to be close to the Lord.
Yet we don't know how to balance that with the rest of our life.
And so we try our best to try to figure out what we want verses what God wants and we play this game of give and take.
And i've done this for so long. And I keep doing it... thinking out of the best intentions... that I know what i'm doing and I know what's right.
But reality speaks otherwise, and God shines light like i've never seen before into the depths of my heart, and shows me the cold, ugly, truth. I am a sinner. There is not one ounce of good in my intentions. They are all out of selfish ambition and pride.
...But thank the Lord ... He is a great Savior. and not only that ... but He is our all in all. He has given us His very life, that we can lay down our sinful nature at the foot of the cross.
.... and by taking up our cross and following Him, we learn to walk in His life. A mystery, that I have only begun to understand as I take baby steps behind Him.
taking up our cross = learning how to live in Christ. hmm...
oh how we wish there was another way.... ....but even our Lord Jesus at the garden of Gethsemane, though his human nature wanted otherwise, He said "Not my will but Thine be done".
... and though in his flesh at that moment it did not seem to be a glorious thing, He knew by the grace of God that that is exactly what it would be.... and He knew that He wanted to be with us. So he walked the road of Calvary, that we might know and live out His glorious Life and be one with Him. How precious.
Now, right now... it hurts to deny ourselves... heck, I cry out to God in agony sometimes just wishing He would relieve me of some of the struggles of the world. And His response.... "I love you , child" ... oh that we would know the heart of the Father.
May we learn to praise Him when things don't go our way. May we learn to lift our voice and sing hallelujah ... because if nothing else, He saved us ... and in this struggle ... He is drawing us to His side.
Our Lord is beautiful, may we learn to surrender, and trust that He knows what He's doing ... even when what we're facing is ugly. His vision sees far more than ours.
Lord, help us to praise you.
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