it seems like everyone i know is in some position of uncertainty right now, especially among my Christian friends. It's like there is something testing our ability to let this world go. We so love our control and our idea of what our lives should look like and yet at the same time we often don't even really know what we want. We live in this act of juggling our fears, desires, lusts, ambitions, etc.
...and yet deep within us there is a longing to be close to the Lord.
Yet we don't know how to balance that with the rest of our life.
And so we try our best to try to figure out what we want verses what God wants and we play this game of give and take.
And i've done this for so long. And I keep doing it... thinking out of the best intentions... that I know what i'm doing and I know what's right.
But reality speaks otherwise, and God shines light like i've never seen before into the depths of my heart, and shows me the cold, ugly, truth. I am a sinner. There is not one ounce of good in my intentions. They are all out of selfish ambition and pride.
...But thank the Lord ... He is a great Savior. and not only that ... but He is our all in all. He has given us His very life, that we can lay down our sinful nature at the foot of the cross.
.... and by taking up our cross and following Him, we learn to walk in His life. A mystery, that I have only begun to understand as I take baby steps behind Him.
taking up our cross = learning how to live in Christ. hmm...
oh how we wish there was another way.... ....but even our Lord Jesus at the garden of Gethsemane, though his human nature wanted otherwise, He said "Not my will but Thine be done".
... and though in his flesh at that moment it did not seem to be a glorious thing, He knew by the grace of God that that is exactly what it would be.... and He knew that He wanted to be with us. So he walked the road of Calvary, that we might know and live out His glorious Life and be one with Him. How precious.
Now, right now... it hurts to deny ourselves... heck, I cry out to God in agony sometimes just wishing He would relieve me of some of the struggles of the world. And His response.... "I love you , child" ... oh that we would know the heart of the Father.
May we learn to praise Him when things don't go our way. May we learn to lift our voice and sing hallelujah ... because if nothing else, He saved us ... and in this struggle ... He is drawing us to His side.
Our Lord is beautiful, may we learn to surrender, and trust that He knows what He's doing ... even when what we're facing is ugly. His vision sees far more than ours.
Lord, help us to praise you.
As I read this beautiful statement of truth, I can't help but drop my tears in my pillow. Indeed, I am guilty of the most horrendous act, to sin infront of the one who gives me life. It is a constant struggle to convince myself to follow the "only way" to ultimate serenity, and that is to walk beside the Lord. In my human flesh, I could not count the times I denied His spirit to enter upon me, and yet His precious blood flows without hesitation inside me. I humbly asked for forgiveness and may He continue to teach us His ways. His love and mercy are the only nutrients we need to survive. And I do hope that as we continue to grow from the seed of life, from a small plant up to a tree with branches, may we harvest the sole truth that our life is all because of Him. Thanks, Jessica, for you have shared what the Lord has spoken to your heart.
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