...however, 2 days post prayer meeting, and I already find myself rejecting the voice of the Holy Spirit, and spending my time as I know how to best ... wasted.
so i came home and made dinner, turned on the news for a few minutes until i didn't find it interesting anymore and then took out the trash. I was thinking about washing dishes ... and then the thought came to me that I could listen to a message while washing dishes and I would be encouraged while doing the housework I like the least. :-p. (i'm learning to enjoy it more lately though)
... however i was just skimming the internet world news.. since i find it more interesting than the local news ... and was reminded that the republican presidential candidate debate had gone on tonight... an hour or so later .. the dishes were done, the kitchen was clean and I was intrigued and enveloped in the political debate i had been watching (a rarity of interest that only comes across me on election years). A debate, that is fascinating for sure, but even as the future of our country is important, our Lord is the one who has the final say...and He is the one I should be spending the most time with.
....Following this I was thinking maybe I should spend some time in the Word ... but instead i got caught up managing finances, and looking at my phone upgrade options...obsessing over whether or not I should wait for the iphone 5 to come out before i upgrade.
...and minutes turn to hours....
... and a whole afternoon of what the Spirit had intended for rich fellowship and purpose... i rejected for my own gain ... which was not actually gain at all. It was pure loss of precious moments that I could have drawn closer to my Lord, and pursued his purpose instead of my own, knowing that His way is always higher than mine.
As I stared into the emptiness of my fridge later in the evening, I was reminded that I also thought of going grocery shopping earlier, since I had a free night, but lost in the buzz of the internet and the chaos of my own mind's intentions, I lost another simple opportunity that the Lord intended for simple productivity and rich fellowship.
I write this out not to become all depressed because of my state, but as a red flag, to help spread awareness to myself and others of how easy it is to push aside the thoughts of our Lord, the God of this Universe. It is so easy to give in to the temptation of acknowledging our own will as more perfect than the Lord's will and intention for us.
I've come to know my own flaws a bit. And i know that if i don't say yes to the Lord when he first nudges me, it becomes easier and easier to push Him aside... and the nudges seem to grow weaker and weaker (or I am just puffing up myself more and more).
(--->listen to Dave Peng's messages on "He must increase, I must decrease", for expounding on how puffing ourselves up is the only way we can decrease the Lord in our life --> http://www.seattlechristianassembly.org/Messages/SpecialMsgsEn.html)
so my challenge to myself and to all of you, is to say yes to the Lord, the first time he asks something of us, or nudges us in a certain direction. I pray that the Lord would be our help and our strength in this as well. I pray that He would draw us closer to himself, that each nudge might seem a little more obvious, and a little more convincing to us.
may we learn to submit ourselves more than yearly or monthly or weekly, but day by day and moment by moment to the leading of the Holy Spirit, and the Lord God Almighty. For there is none better than Him who should lead our hearts and our lives.
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