"After you give yourself to the Lord, he begins to break what was offered to Him. Everything seems to go wrong, and you protest and find fault with the ways of God. But to say there is to be no more than a broken vessel - no good for the world because you have gone to far for the world to use you, and no good for God either, because you have not gone far enough for Him to use you. You are out of gear with the world, and you have controversy with God. This is the tragedy of many a Christian." -Watchman Nee, NCL
is this true?
At first one like myself might think that God could use us at any stage... whether we have given our all or not... and I think it's true, for the sake of his own glory, He will sometimes use one who is lukewarm. But how much can you do with someone who is only half into what you are doing.
...Say you are on a mission to find a long lost family member in France, but you only have one week's time to go on this search. You go to Paris ... and are so attracted by the Eiffel tower and "L'Arc de Triomphe, the designer clothes and the beautiful gardens ... that you find yourself spending less time what you originally came for, even though time is short.
Is this not we are today? Are we not lukewarm? Are we not seeking after vanities of vanities? Are we not often grasping after something that is dying?
I sometimes obey the Lord, I sometimes get up early enough for morning devotions, I sometimes pray for the lost and struggling, I sometimes trust in the Lord's strength instead of my own, I sometimes really mean it when I say 'Lord I give you my all".
I also sometimes choose tv over the Lord, I sometimes fool around too much on facebook even when an urge comes for me to go to bed. I sometimes don't talk to people even though I should, because I'm a coward and often don't trust in the Lord's strength.
"'I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.'" - Revelation 3:15-22
"My giving myself to the Lord, must be an initial fundamental act. Then, day by day, I must go on giving to Him, not finding fault with his use of me, but accepting with praise even what the flesh finds hard. That way lies true enrichment....I do no consecrate myself to be a missionary or a preacher; I consecrate myself to God to do His will where I am, be it in school, office or kitchen or wherever he may, in his wisdom, send me...May we always be possessed with this consciousness that we are not our own." - Watchman Nee, NCL
It is all or nothing my friends... may we, by the Lord's grace, be zealous and repent, and may He anoint our eyes with salve that we may see what is real, the reality of His Lordship and his coming kingdom. May our deepest desire be after solely this, and may our eyes not waiver from the Prize.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
stop moping around .....praise Him!
lately there has been a lot of fog. a lot of not knowing what the future will look like. a lot of not knowing what to do with the current circumstances. a lot of not knowing how to process different happenings in life. not knowing how to be a good testimony, not knowing how to face the challenges that come up at work, in the body of Christ, and my personal experiences. i've finally come to the point of not knowing anything.
with little strength, little wisdom, and a way full of uncertainty ... I come before the throne of grace.
i have been reminded recently, by the Holy Spirit, that I need to lift up my voice in praise.
giving praise to God ...during the times of utter chaos and confusion, during times where the clouds have just rolled in, during times that it seems everyone is swimming the opposite direction, and times where strength is non-existent.... giving praise to God in these times seems so irrational, doesn't it? ... i mean the rest of the world would tell us to blame God ... remember Job's experience?
But one of God's great mysteries .... is that when we praise Him in the midst of crisis... how often do we feel immediately strengthened by Him? when we Praise for no other reason apart from his death on the cross .... even in this... do we not find rest in giving Him praise? Do we not somehow, because of lifting our eye to give thanks to Jesus, feel so incredibly blessed, and suddenly in the Lord's presence. What a blessing it is to lift our hearts and our thanks to Jesus in times of difficulty.
He is always worthy of being praised, but I believe that if we're willing to praise Him during these hard times, then we have recognized that life is not all about us. We've finally come to a place where we can say, "Jesus, I love you and worship You, because you are seated on the throne! You are Lord, and King, and Your Name is to be ever trusted!" ... when we do this, even in praising Him, we are denying ourselves, and because of this ... we can enter into the Joy of the Lord, and be at peace.
So praise Him! He is always worthy of our praise ... but are we willing to offer it up? Are we willing to stop moping around, and lift our praises, our hands, our hearts and our lives to worship the King?
oh... in doing so, we will find much greater fulfillment then we currently know in our circumstance.
Lord, teach us to praise you, help us to lift our voices and sing a song of thanksgiving, to the One who has given us everything.
with little strength, little wisdom, and a way full of uncertainty ... I come before the throne of grace.
i have been reminded recently, by the Holy Spirit, that I need to lift up my voice in praise.
giving praise to God ...during the times of utter chaos and confusion, during times where the clouds have just rolled in, during times that it seems everyone is swimming the opposite direction, and times where strength is non-existent.... giving praise to God in these times seems so irrational, doesn't it? ... i mean the rest of the world would tell us to blame God ... remember Job's experience?
But one of God's great mysteries .... is that when we praise Him in the midst of crisis... how often do we feel immediately strengthened by Him? when we Praise for no other reason apart from his death on the cross .... even in this... do we not find rest in giving Him praise? Do we not somehow, because of lifting our eye to give thanks to Jesus, feel so incredibly blessed, and suddenly in the Lord's presence. What a blessing it is to lift our hearts and our thanks to Jesus in times of difficulty.
He is always worthy of being praised, but I believe that if we're willing to praise Him during these hard times, then we have recognized that life is not all about us. We've finally come to a place where we can say, "Jesus, I love you and worship You, because you are seated on the throne! You are Lord, and King, and Your Name is to be ever trusted!" ... when we do this, even in praising Him, we are denying ourselves, and because of this ... we can enter into the Joy of the Lord, and be at peace.
So praise Him! He is always worthy of our praise ... but are we willing to offer it up? Are we willing to stop moping around, and lift our praises, our hands, our hearts and our lives to worship the King?
oh... in doing so, we will find much greater fulfillment then we currently know in our circumstance.
Lord, teach us to praise you, help us to lift our voices and sing a song of thanksgiving, to the One who has given us everything.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
longing for heaven and home...
as i drove home today... this first verse seemed to speak to exactly what i was feeling.
....there was some craziness that happened today that made me just long for heaven's gates. Oh how depraved this world is. How full of greed, hate, anger, depression, sadness, confusion, sickness and death it is... to which all are linked to sin. What a glorious day it will be when our Lord returns & darkness no long has dominion!
...but in reality, as i meditate on these things, Satan, sin and death have already been dealt with on the cross, right? It seems to me that it made a way for us to choose life over death, which before the option was not available for us. We can now choose to live by the Holy Spirit, instead of by the rules of sin, satan, and death aka the ways of the world. However, these things are still very present around us in the world, but the key is to keep our eyes fixed on the things above ... and to remember that we are in this world, but not of it, "we're just a passing through".
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." -Colossians 3:1-4
praise be to Jesus. let us seek the things that are above...and set our minds on things that are above. For to be hidden in Christ is our glory, through His death burial and resurrection, we are In Christ Jesus.
but there is a Day coming, when Satan and sin and suffering will be no longer... and what a beautiful day that will be! A day of rejoicing! Let our hearts be glad, because His eye is on the sparrow, and He will one day return for His bride. :) Praise be to our Lord!
gnight :).
....there was some craziness that happened today that made me just long for heaven's gates. Oh how depraved this world is. How full of greed, hate, anger, depression, sadness, confusion, sickness and death it is... to which all are linked to sin. What a glorious day it will be when our Lord returns & darkness no long has dominion!
...but in reality, as i meditate on these things, Satan, sin and death have already been dealt with on the cross, right? It seems to me that it made a way for us to choose life over death, which before the option was not available for us. We can now choose to live by the Holy Spirit, instead of by the rules of sin, satan, and death aka the ways of the world. However, these things are still very present around us in the world, but the key is to keep our eyes fixed on the things above ... and to remember that we are in this world, but not of it, "we're just a passing through".
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." -Colossians 3:1-4
praise be to Jesus. let us seek the things that are above...and set our minds on things that are above. For to be hidden in Christ is our glory, through His death burial and resurrection, we are In Christ Jesus.
but there is a Day coming, when Satan and sin and suffering will be no longer... and what a beautiful day that will be! A day of rejoicing! Let our hearts be glad, because His eye is on the sparrow, and He will one day return for His bride. :) Praise be to our Lord!
gnight :).
Sunday, October 16, 2011
letting go.
I am so thankful for the last week, and the abundance of grace that the Lord has poured out on me. I feel like this renewing that has happened in my spirit, is nothing of what I have done, but must be due to the Lord relentlessly pursuing after me. What a gracious, loving, merciful heavenly Father we have.
finally being able to truly come before him without the world getting in the way...
...it's amazing the peace that His presence brings. It's amazing that when one truly enters into His love and understands His Lordship, how little and insignificant everything else becomes.
I was striving, and working to pursue something "good". ... and now I know I must pursue only God, who is the only One who is good.
"My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;
'Tis His to lead me there—not mine, but His—
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road."
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/nt/350#ixzz1b13qh4xH
finally being able to truly come before him without the world getting in the way...
...it's amazing the peace that His presence brings. It's amazing that when one truly enters into His love and understands His Lordship, how little and insignificant everything else becomes.
I was striving, and working to pursue something "good". ... and now I know I must pursue only God, who is the only One who is good.
"My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;
'Tis His to lead me there—not mine, but His—
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road."
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/nt/350#ixzz1b13qh4xH
Be sovereign, Oh Lord. Take back the crown that we have taken from you for too long, and take your place on the throne of our hearts. Have Your way in us, and help us to surrender to it in joy. :).
May our sole pursuit be You and Your Kingdom.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
done with me.
sometimes i just really need to learn to deny myself. and i think for each of us we can say God gives us ample opportunity to do so. ....but often times we are so blind in our own selfish ways of doing things, blind to our own manipulative ways we have of drowning out God's voice.
.... but how refreshing is it... when a brother or sister comes and points out something off in our lives that seems so obvious to them. Thank the Lord that our brothers and sisters are the ones who keep us accountable, who sharpen us, and who help keep us on the straight and narrow and get us back in the Lord, when we may have been caught up in ourselves for too long, and lost in our own train of thought.
tonight i just feel like i need to be done thinking, done evaluating, done analyzing, done with me and my head, my ideas of what is right and wrong, done with my ideas of what is good and bad, done with me perceptions of this world. done with my interpretations. and just done with me.
Jesus is all.
.... so why am I wasting time.... trying to glorify myself.... i'm just making a fool of me that's all.
Jesus is all.
...so why do i spend so much time planning, and deciphering, weighing options, and just getting caught up in the details.
Jesus is EVerything
... so shut up already Jess and let him do His thing!
May all glory and honor and praises be unto Him who sits on the throne.
:).
i love my Maker.
He is so very patient, and so very kind.
And so willing to change us, by doing whatever it takes.
:)
And I'm am so blessed to be a part of the Body of Christ.
gnight friends.
.... but how refreshing is it... when a brother or sister comes and points out something off in our lives that seems so obvious to them. Thank the Lord that our brothers and sisters are the ones who keep us accountable, who sharpen us, and who help keep us on the straight and narrow and get us back in the Lord, when we may have been caught up in ourselves for too long, and lost in our own train of thought.
tonight i just feel like i need to be done thinking, done evaluating, done analyzing, done with me and my head, my ideas of what is right and wrong, done with my ideas of what is good and bad, done with me perceptions of this world. done with my interpretations. and just done with me.
Jesus is all.
.... so why am I wasting time.... trying to glorify myself.... i'm just making a fool of me that's all.
Jesus is all.
...so why do i spend so much time planning, and deciphering, weighing options, and just getting caught up in the details.
Jesus is EVerything
... so shut up already Jess and let him do His thing!
May all glory and honor and praises be unto Him who sits on the throne.
:).
i love my Maker.
He is so very patient, and so very kind.
And so willing to change us, by doing whatever it takes.
:)
And I'm am so blessed to be a part of the Body of Christ.
gnight friends.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
sickly = time to reflect...
...i have now been sickly for at least two days.... the typical cold.... sore throat, runny nose, congestion that makes you sound like one of the looney tunes :-p, and an intermittent low-grade fever... now the cough is starting :-/.
but i really feel like it's all due to me pushing myself too hard in the last week or two... staying up too late when i knew i should have gone to bed earlier... trying to be superhero to everyone else.. and trying to fix my own dilemma's with my own strength.
... in actuality I can really thank the Lord that he has allowed me to get sick, because I feel it to be some sort of discipline for me to get back on track with Him... and actually listen to what He has to say. And to also gives me a break from the craziness of this world and living inside the complicated thoughts in my own head....
....that i might just be still and know that He is God.
after 2 days of illness... i'm finally feeling the Lord's presence closer, and finally feeling refreshed. In this it is clear that it is the Lord's doing... because is it normal to feel better after getting sick? haha. I love Jesus, and the wonderful ways He works. He knows exactly what we need at the time we need it. And He will do whatever to win us back to Him, praise His glorious Name! :).
...sometimes He lets everything come crashing down at once so He'll get our attention. He might bring confusing situations... or illness.... or ...ahem.. a broken vehicle ... .. or even those times of loneliness where everyone you would have wanted to talk with seems busy... etc etc etc....you fill in the blank.
But if we take a step back, surely it is all because He is after our hearts ... and these situations teach us to be after His. ...after His heart that is.
He knows what buttons to push in order to get us to come back to Him... sometimes i feel like i am so incredibly stubborn... it takes quite a few buttons. But thank the Lord in His mercy, He disciplines us. :)
Be blessed this night in knowing that all things work together for the good of those who Love God and are called according to His purpose...
... because He is the one putting the puzzle together, not us ... may we learn once again to say ... "yes, Lord".. and submit to His glorious, perfect will....which in the End will be soooo worth it.
....but even just His presence today is enough :). Thank you, Jesus.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
when we are weak...
this week has been hard. something going on every night and 5 days straight of nursing (aka work) ...plus my inability to go to bed as early as i should. i feel like i could probably sleep for 24 hours if i was given the option, but instead I have to get up at 6am again tomorrow morning (6:25 by the time i hit the buzzer 3 times). Not that i don't enjoy what I do or how I serve within the Church..... this week i'm just tired, and it's all a lot. But in all of it I really praise the Lord, because after a week of feeling a bit distant spiritually, and me slacking in my morning devotions, the Lord in His mercy gave me this week. .... that in all of it I might learn to carry my cross and learn once again that if i'm not depending on Him, my life has no meaning or purpose.
when we are weak, we are so quick to look at our circumstances. Sometimes we look at the frustrating situation that we may be in or we may look at ourselves and the abundance of mistakes we can't seem to stop making. We might look at the people around us and blame them for our problems. But over and over again this week through frustrating situations, self blame, and blaming others.. .... i've been hearing from the Lord.... "look away unto Me".... almost as if a voice is calling from another land .... "Look away unto me"
... i love that this phrase includes the word "away"... it's actively looking away from whatever you are looking at now... to look to Jesus.
so many of the decisions i make each day are related to my own ideas...
...most of the feelings i feel are because of some sort of selfishness.
but when i am obedient to looking away unto Jesus.... it is like as i look away ... it's just like the song "the things of this world will grow strangely dim" ... and i imagine it like the noises of my life that have blocked out the Lord for so long, are now quickly fading behind me.
the great thing about looking away unto Jesus, is that it is the most simple of all things we could do.
The other day in the middle of a crazy shift at work, I had a second where I wasn't caught up in the craziness of the day.... and in that small moment ... only maybe 10 seconds or so.. I remembered the Lord, and just in that moment I felt peace and i felt rejuvenated
Looking away unto Jesus is not some sort of ritual or step by step process. it's just exactly as stated.... we take a second, maybe a minute, or an hour, or more to just stop and look at Him, to quiet our hearts, and just fix our eyes at Himself and His glory.
Looking unto Jesus is all it takes to change us.
so when you are weak, and when you are hurting, and when you are too busy to even know where you're at spiritually ... if it's even for a moment, ....stop... and look away unto Jesus. In gazing at His face, you will be changed... healed... renewed....revived.... and redirected.
Why wouldn't we look away to Him?
when we are weak, we are so quick to look at our circumstances. Sometimes we look at the frustrating situation that we may be in or we may look at ourselves and the abundance of mistakes we can't seem to stop making. We might look at the people around us and blame them for our problems. But over and over again this week through frustrating situations, self blame, and blaming others.. .... i've been hearing from the Lord.... "look away unto Me".... almost as if a voice is calling from another land .... "Look away unto me"
... i love that this phrase includes the word "away"... it's actively looking away from whatever you are looking at now... to look to Jesus.
so many of the decisions i make each day are related to my own ideas...
...most of the feelings i feel are because of some sort of selfishness.
but when i am obedient to looking away unto Jesus.... it is like as i look away ... it's just like the song "the things of this world will grow strangely dim" ... and i imagine it like the noises of my life that have blocked out the Lord for so long, are now quickly fading behind me.
the great thing about looking away unto Jesus, is that it is the most simple of all things we could do.
The other day in the middle of a crazy shift at work, I had a second where I wasn't caught up in the craziness of the day.... and in that small moment ... only maybe 10 seconds or so.. I remembered the Lord, and just in that moment I felt peace and i felt rejuvenated
Looking away unto Jesus is not some sort of ritual or step by step process. it's just exactly as stated.... we take a second, maybe a minute, or an hour, or more to just stop and look at Him, to quiet our hearts, and just fix our eyes at Himself and His glory.
Looking unto Jesus is all it takes to change us.
so when you are weak, and when you are hurting, and when you are too busy to even know where you're at spiritually ... if it's even for a moment, ....stop... and look away unto Jesus. In gazing at His face, you will be changed... healed... renewed....revived.... and redirected.
Why wouldn't we look away to Him?
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