this week has been hard. something going on every night and 5 days straight of nursing (aka work) ...plus my inability to go to bed as early as i should. i feel like i could probably sleep for 24 hours if i was given the option, but instead I have to get up at 6am again tomorrow morning (6:25 by the time i hit the buzzer 3 times). Not that i don't enjoy what I do or how I serve within the Church..... this week i'm just tired, and it's all a lot. But in all of it I really praise the Lord, because after a week of feeling a bit distant spiritually, and me slacking in my morning devotions, the Lord in His mercy gave me this week. .... that in all of it I might learn to carry my cross and learn once again that if i'm not depending on Him, my life has no meaning or purpose.
when we are weak, we are so quick to look at our circumstances. Sometimes we look at the frustrating situation that we may be in or we may look at ourselves and the abundance of mistakes we can't seem to stop making. We might look at the people around us and blame them for our problems. But over and over again this week through frustrating situations, self blame, and blaming others.. .... i've been hearing from the Lord.... "look away unto Me".... almost as if a voice is calling from another land .... "Look away unto me"
... i love that this phrase includes the word "away"... it's actively looking away from whatever you are looking at now... to look to Jesus.
so many of the decisions i make each day are related to my own ideas...
...most of the feelings i feel are because of some sort of selfishness.
but when i am obedient to looking away unto Jesus.... it is like as i look away ... it's just like the song "the things of this world will grow strangely dim" ... and i imagine it like the noises of my life that have blocked out the Lord for so long, are now quickly fading behind me.
the great thing about looking away unto Jesus, is that it is the most simple of all things we could do.
The other day in the middle of a crazy shift at work, I had a second where I wasn't caught up in the craziness of the day.... and in that small moment ... only maybe 10 seconds or so.. I remembered the Lord, and just in that moment I felt peace and i felt rejuvenated
Looking away unto Jesus is not some sort of ritual or step by step process. it's just exactly as stated.... we take a second, maybe a minute, or an hour, or more to just stop and look at Him, to quiet our hearts, and just fix our eyes at Himself and His glory.
Looking unto Jesus is all it takes to change us.
so when you are weak, and when you are hurting, and when you are too busy to even know where you're at spiritually ... if it's even for a moment, ....stop... and look away unto Jesus. In gazing at His face, you will be changed... healed... renewed....revived.... and redirected.
Why wouldn't we look away to Him?
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
mercy knows no end.
today as I opened up the Word finally ... after being side tracked too many times...I had this expectation of punishment of needing to be scolded for what I had done and my disobedience to the Lord in so many little things.
... but as I thought about God's mercy, and tried to wrap my mind around this. The Lord gave me a visual. It's like I felt like fire and brimstone were about to fall down on me... when i said "wait! here's the blood of Jesus" and the Lord seemed to say to me gently "oh dear Child, welcome back into my presence"
...and i was immediately reminded of Issac, laying on that alter... waiting to be slain by his father. When the Angel cried "Abraham, wait!" Only to have the blood of the ram replace his destiny.
How precious is the blood of our Lord Jesus, that no matter how many times we fall short, if we present the blood of JEsus before the father we have a way in to His presence, and it's not like we just get to experience a little now that we messed up ... no ... the Lord longs that we would know the fullness of Himself.
How blessed we are to know such mercy and love!!
an encouraging passage of scripture from today....
"For ask now of the days that are past, which were before you, since the day that God created man on the earth, and ask from one end of heaven to the other, whether such a great thing as this has ever happened or was ever heard of. Did any people ever hear the voice of a god speaking out of the midst of the fire, as you have heard, and still live? Or has any god ever attempted to go and take a nation for himself from the midst of another nation, by trials, by signs, by wonders, and by war, by a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, and by great deeds of terror, all of which the LORD your God did for you in Egypt before your eyes? To you it was shown, that you might know that the LORD is God; there is no other besides him. Out of heaven he let you hear his voice, that he might discipline you. And on earth he let you see his great fire, and you heard his words out of the midst of the fire. And because he loved your fathers and chose their offspring after them and brought you out of Egypt with his own presence, by his great power, driving out before you nations greater and mightier than yourselves, to bring you in, to give you their land for an inheritance, as it is this day, know therefore today, and lay it to your heart, that the LORD is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other. Therefore you shall keep his statutes and his commandments, which I command you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land that the LORD your God is giving you for all time."
-Deuteronomy 4:32-40
....more evidence of God's beautiful mercy towards His people :). note that discipline is also a form of mercy.
... but as I thought about God's mercy, and tried to wrap my mind around this. The Lord gave me a visual. It's like I felt like fire and brimstone were about to fall down on me... when i said "wait! here's the blood of Jesus" and the Lord seemed to say to me gently "oh dear Child, welcome back into my presence"
...and i was immediately reminded of Issac, laying on that alter... waiting to be slain by his father. When the Angel cried "Abraham, wait!" Only to have the blood of the ram replace his destiny.
How precious is the blood of our Lord Jesus, that no matter how many times we fall short, if we present the blood of JEsus before the father we have a way in to His presence, and it's not like we just get to experience a little now that we messed up ... no ... the Lord longs that we would know the fullness of Himself.
How blessed we are to know such mercy and love!!
an encouraging passage of scripture from today....
"For ask now of the days that are past, which were before you, since the day that God created man on the earth, and ask from one end of heaven to the other, whether such a great thing as this has ever happened or was ever heard of. Did any people ever hear the voice of a god speaking out of the midst of the fire, as you have heard, and still live? Or has any god ever attempted to go and take a nation for himself from the midst of another nation, by trials, by signs, by wonders, and by war, by a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, and by great deeds of terror, all of which the LORD your God did for you in Egypt before your eyes? To you it was shown, that you might know that the LORD is God; there is no other besides him. Out of heaven he let you hear his voice, that he might discipline you. And on earth he let you see his great fire, and you heard his words out of the midst of the fire. And because he loved your fathers and chose their offspring after them and brought you out of Egypt with his own presence, by his great power, driving out before you nations greater and mightier than yourselves, to bring you in, to give you their land for an inheritance, as it is this day, know therefore today, and lay it to your heart, that the LORD is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other. Therefore you shall keep his statutes and his commandments, which I command you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land that the LORD your God is giving you for all time."
-Deuteronomy 4:32-40
....more evidence of God's beautiful mercy towards His people :). note that discipline is also a form of mercy.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
my prayer to You tonight
in a poetic mood i guess... sometimes i just feel the Lord communicates to me better through rhyme...
I’m sick of the way I’ve been treating my God
I’m disgusted by how quick I ignore Him
The one Who in glory has given His all to me
I’m so quick to put me before Him
So my prayer before You tonight, O Lord
Is that you’d strip me of my selfish ways
That you’d ruin this heart for all but You,
And keep me from going astray
Oh precious Lord, be my vision
Let not earthly matters catch my gaze
Pour out Your love in abounding measure
so I’d be drawn to you all my days.
Give me ears to hear and a humble heart
And a spirit that’s willing to obey
Keep me abiding in the Lord Jesus Christ
May You be my hope and stay.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
problem solver extraordinaire...
...or so I think.
I wrote this poem last night ... it essentially what the Lord has been teaching me through many experiences and messages recently...
Problem Solver ...
Everywhere I looked, there was a problem to solve,
whether finding a cheap flight, or fixing my TV.
I loved the thrill of putting the puzzle pieces together.
Knowing that I could accomplish it, would satisfy me.
So I had this brilliant idea, thought I knew what was best
I could bring my love for problem-solving into the House of God.
For it seems there's soo much wrong, God must want me to help out.
So I let myself go to work, like it was my job.
But amidst my "good intentions" came unnecessary interventions
and I tried to fix the Church with my own two hands,
that only got weary... and raw... and broken....
'till I came to the conclusion... ... I .. am a sinful man.
Who do I think that I am, trying to mess with God's plan?!
Trying to reconstruct God's House into the way I thought it should be?
Did I really think what the Spirit had started, the flesh could complete?
But I realized....I couldn't make the Church change, until I let... God ...change... me.
..and when I submit, it's one.. less... obstacle.., getting in the way, of Him, ...working freely.
I wrote this poem last night ... it essentially what the Lord has been teaching me through many experiences and messages recently...
Problem Solver ...
Everywhere I looked, there was a problem to solve,
whether finding a cheap flight, or fixing my TV.
I loved the thrill of putting the puzzle pieces together.
Knowing that I could accomplish it, would satisfy me.
So I had this brilliant idea, thought I knew what was best
I could bring my love for problem-solving into the House of God.
For it seems there's soo much wrong, God must want me to help out.
So I let myself go to work, like it was my job.
But amidst my "good intentions" came unnecessary interventions
and I tried to fix the Church with my own two hands,
that only got weary... and raw... and broken....
'till I came to the conclusion... ... I .. am a sinful man.
Who do I think that I am, trying to mess with God's plan?!
Trying to reconstruct God's House into the way I thought it should be?
Did I really think what the Spirit had started, the flesh could complete?
But I realized....I couldn't make the Church change, until I let... God ...change... me.
..and when I submit, it's one.. less... obstacle.., getting in the way, of Him, ...working freely.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
my time wasted...
a prayer request brought up this week was that we need to see what the Lord would have us do with where we're at right now, and the time we have in this world. I also echoed this prayer, specifying that the Lord would help us be faithful to him on a moment by moment basis, submitting to His will and being sensitive to His spirit.
...however, 2 days post prayer meeting, and I already find myself rejecting the voice of the Holy Spirit, and spending my time as I know how to best ... wasted.
so i came home and made dinner, turned on the news for a few minutes until i didn't find it interesting anymore and then took out the trash. I was thinking about washing dishes ... and then the thought came to me that I could listen to a message while washing dishes and I would be encouraged while doing the housework I like the least. :-p. (i'm learning to enjoy it more lately though)
... however i was just skimming the internet world news.. since i find it more interesting than the local news ... and was reminded that the republican presidential candidate debate had gone on tonight... an hour or so later .. the dishes were done, the kitchen was clean and I was intrigued and enveloped in the political debate i had been watching (a rarity of interest that only comes across me on election years). A debate, that is fascinating for sure, but even as the future of our country is important, our Lord is the one who has the final say...and He is the one I should be spending the most time with.
....Following this I was thinking maybe I should spend some time in the Word ... but instead i got caught up managing finances, and looking at my phone upgrade options...obsessing over whether or not I should wait for the iphone 5 to come out before i upgrade.
...and minutes turn to hours....
... and a whole afternoon of what the Spirit had intended for rich fellowship and purpose... i rejected for my own gain ... which was not actually gain at all. It was pure loss of precious moments that I could have drawn closer to my Lord, and pursued his purpose instead of my own, knowing that His way is always higher than mine.
As I stared into the emptiness of my fridge later in the evening, I was reminded that I also thought of going grocery shopping earlier, since I had a free night, but lost in the buzz of the internet and the chaos of my own mind's intentions, I lost another simple opportunity that the Lord intended for simple productivity and rich fellowship.
I write this out not to become all depressed because of my state, but as a red flag, to help spread awareness to myself and others of how easy it is to push aside the thoughts of our Lord, the God of this Universe. It is so easy to give in to the temptation of acknowledging our own will as more perfect than the Lord's will and intention for us.
I've come to know my own flaws a bit. And i know that if i don't say yes to the Lord when he first nudges me, it becomes easier and easier to push Him aside... and the nudges seem to grow weaker and weaker (or I am just puffing up myself more and more).
(--->listen to Dave Peng's messages on "He must increase, I must decrease", for expounding on how puffing ourselves up is the only way we can decrease the Lord in our life --> http://www.seattlechristianassembly.org/Messages/SpecialMsgsEn.html)
so my challenge to myself and to all of you, is to say yes to the Lord, the first time he asks something of us, or nudges us in a certain direction. I pray that the Lord would be our help and our strength in this as well. I pray that He would draw us closer to himself, that each nudge might seem a little more obvious, and a little more convincing to us.
may we learn to submit ourselves more than yearly or monthly or weekly, but day by day and moment by moment to the leading of the Holy Spirit, and the Lord God Almighty. For there is none better than Him who should lead our hearts and our lives.
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