Shaking.

oh man.  what a summer.   I can't believe it's coming to a close.  What a roller coaster of traveling, lessons, emotions, unexpected circumstances, life, blessings, but so full of the unbelievable and amazing grace of God.  Full of light shining on my own life and the life of the Church.  Amazed by the incredible and horrific stories in the news.  Learning to sit and listen and read and listen and sit and wait and pray and listen.

What it comes down to is a whole lot of shaking.

Shaking in the world in ways we have never seen before.  Evil so clearly at work... massacres, plagues, famines, earthquakes, division, corruption, nations fighting nations, families fighting families, and the line between right and wrong almost completely removed.

Shaking in the Church... literally churches that seemingly stood for truth falling to pieces.  Corruption and pride in the hearts of men and the working of the enemy equals division, dissension, and a structure that was supposed to represent God falling like a sandcastle washed away by the waves.    But also a good shaking in that people are starting to question the reason we're doing things the way we do them.  There's some shaking that opens eyes and hearts and helps us to see the Church in light of God.  What are we doing?  Oh, may we have such an honest and vulnerable heart before God!  Are we walking in light of Him?  Is what we're doing unto Him or unto our own idea of what His work is?  Are we just doing what we've always done? Are we that living sacrifice before Him?  If not... WHAT is it that we're doing?!  For if it's not by faith and it's not in His light and if it's not led by His spirit, It is VANITY!

Shaking in my own heart.  So much light and revelation...the Lord patiently showing me who I really am in light of Him.  Oh man...so much junk; pride, insecurity, self-centeredness, fear, unbelief, worry, and a whole lot of stubbornness.  This list could go on and on.  But I've just seen how the Lord meets me in each and every one of these things.  After supplying light though, His grace just floods in like a dam breaking.  Followed by freedom :).  Hallelujah!  Oh how precious is the blood of the Lamb.

And He has caused me to start to understand the importance of heeding His voice above any other.     I've gotten a lot of hard questions asked of me this summer.  Questions that at the time I had a hard time answering.  Questions I realized I had a hard time answering because I wasn't walking fully in the Lord's light and in the purpose that the Lord had called me into.  I wasn't so honest with the Lord about my life and struggles and my inability to do all of the tasks at hand, never mind deal with my own issues before the Lord.

I feel like I've been called to lay a lot of things down again and re-evaluate them before the Lord and see what His Word is for each of them.  It seems for myself and so many brothers and sisters in the body, and for Church service and with stuff going on in this nation and in the world, it feels like everything's shifting and changing.  What it's gonna look like in the future... I have not the slightest clue.  But I feel like the Lord is saying to His Church...WAKE UP!  Hallelujah, has this not been our prayer?  That the eyes of our hearts would be enlightened?

May the Lord be our Vision in the time we have... for who knows what tomorrow brings.  May we redeem the time and Love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength.  He, the God on the Universe and beyond who knows our greatest sin and the depravity of humankind, desires still to dwell with us and abide in us!!  Does this amazing truth not stir within us a great desire to bow, surrender, and love the Lord our God?!

Hallelujah!  Our Lord lives and is working and His love never fails!  

And to show His grace even more... He painted the sky tonight with soft pastels.  Our God is good. :)

    "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.  Let all that you do be done in love." - 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Eternity in View

First quiet evening at home in a while.  Thought, or should I say thoughts, on my heart tonight: Eternity.
I was given this one line "Open my eyes to eternity" ... thought maybe it was the beginning of a song.  But no.  The Lord prompted it more as a plea on my heart.  Even in the last hour, I've been thinking about different events, my spin on them, and what God's spin on them must be... seeing partially, but never with complete revelation.  So many different circumstances in so many lives of family, friends, acquaintances, etc... and wondering how this jumble of events all fits together in God's glorious purpose... the good, the bad, the ugly.  All of them are somehow working together for His glorification in the end, and eternity in view.

It all makes me feel so small, so amazed at how I can remain so selfish so much of the time.  Realizing that all the things the Lord brings me through are not all just about me.  It may not be about me at all.  Of course the Lord uses every opportunity to shape us and mold us and conform us more to the likeness of the image of Christ.  But it is all soo soo much bigger than that.  The things he leads us into, the Way that he leads us... the people that we encounter, the friendships we make, the person we marry, the church we attend,  the place we live, the job that He leads us into... I ask myself, what is their eternal weight? What is the meaning in light of eternity?
When I truly start to think on eternity, how humbled I instantly become.  Who am I, that I have been invited to partake in this? To partake in the One who defines Eternal Life.  So incredibly precious, and yet mind-blowing at the same time.

Am I living my life in light of Eternity?
...Or... Is it based on the rush of the world, the desires of the flesh, the hunger of knowledge, or the expectation of man?

There is this concept of eternity that we have in the back of our minds, one that probably seems more fantasy than anything else.  And it's easier to live with it back there, where we can store it away for a good spiritual discussion or some "deep fellowship", or even bring it out to meditate on every Sunday when we have communion and sing "When we've been there ten thousand years...".

But what's really hard is letting eternity live at the very forefront of our minds, and letting the Lord etch it on our hearts.  That, however, is exactly what God has called us to do.  But how?  I think it has all to do with learning to live in the Eternal Life that has already been given to us.  Abiding in Christ, in His rest, in His joy, in His righteousness and holiness.  Living through him and unto Him.  Casting aside our own eyes, and seeing with His.  Casting aside our own ideas, and letting Christ rules in our minds.  Laying down our deepest desires, and letting Him have His way in us, knowing that we see in part, but He sees the whole picture.

There is so much more going on in this world and in our own lives, and in the Church that is beyond what we can see and understand.  We can let it make us frustrated and upset because we don't have control, or we can choose to live in the peace of God, trusting Him, and knowing that there is eternity in the balance.  Our all-knowing heavenly Father who loves us much more than we can even imagine is indeed sovereign over all of these things, from the smallest desire or struggle that we face, to the biggest events going on universally.  He is SOVEREIGN & He loves us. This is the truth!  May we live in light of this reality: He's not an amateur, He knows what He's doing.  May we learn to enjoy the presence of the Lord, for it is all the sweeter when we don't know all the details of His plan.  But may we learn to STAY in the presence of the Lord, discovering each day who He is, and learning to live for Him and for the eternal desires on His heart.

"So we do not lose heart.  Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."  - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end." -Ecclesiastes 3:11

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own.  But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press own toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:13-14

Whose dime am I on?

This week has been up and down... and some days I just wanna come home and have some "me" time.  Make some dinner... watch a good cop show, or listen to some great musical performances, surf the web... and just chill.

One of the very present themes in my life this year is "redeeming the time".  I've struggled to truly listen and be obedient to the Lord in this area when He asks for my time.  I struggle to know where the balance is... when it is ok to hang out and watch a movie... or when is it ok to just do stuff "for fun" ... whether by yourself or with friends.  Am I never supposed to have fun, or enjoy life?  Is it God's intention that I remain so serious?

I've brought this question before the Lord...

I sometimes struggle to gain an answer when I think about those who are suffering and losing their lives for the sake of Christ just across the ocean.  What fun is the preacher who is stuck in the prison cell having? Why is it ok for me for mess around on my computer for so long doing nothing... and do all this stuff ..just for the sake of fun and enjoyment?? So many who are following the Lord around the world wouldn't think so much about getting so excited for the next episode of Castle, or the 50% off sale at Express ... because their life is around Christ, and these things are not important to them.

But then there's the other side of the coin that says... "lighten up, you're too serious, it's ok to joke around a little bit"
...I grew up knowing sarcasm and joking around.  I know how to joke around and I know how to have a good time, and enjoy a lot of laughs with close friends.

But I guess the question remains... Can I enjoy these things, and still redeem the time?

I find such a simple answer from the Lord.
      Listen to Me, and walk before Me with an obedient heart.  

I've seen so many Christians swing to one side or the other... Either incredibly serious or incredibly loose.  Funny how often times it swings on both sides even in one family.  I think I've been on both sides over the course of my life.

What is serious is that our Lord Jesus came and took our place, and paid the price for our very life.  That we might no longer live to ourselves, but to God (Romans 6:10).  And, "I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me" (Galations 2:20).

I do believe our Lord wants us to experience fun and laughter, and incredible times full of joy and wonder.  But at the same time...I need to recognize that this life is not my own.  My loving Father paid the price for me, that I might enter the joy of His kingdom, that I might know the riches of the inheritance of Christ (Ephesians 1:18).  But when I answer His call, I also recognize that I am going to lean on HIS understanding in all things.  And that means I need to LISTEN to His voice, and walk in the way that He prepares for me.
We can't look to another's experience and say, "they have no joy in their life, why is the Lord allowing me to have joy in mine?"  or "I feel like the cross is soo heavy on me, why does Suzy sunday have the perfect life, and relationship with God and supportive family?"  At the end of the book of John, the Lord asked Peter to not consider what He had in store for John, but to just "follow Me".  And we are called to not look at the experiences of others to gauge our walk with the Lord... but to look always unto the Lord himself.  What is He asking of you and me THIS DAY?  Are we listening?  Are we following?

So I've come to realize that there is no hard and fast rule about how I spend my time alone and how I spend my time with friends be it with a church group or with coworkers... all time needs to be lived before God in honesty.  I need to choose to be consecrated, to be obedient, to be committed to my Lord.  He may lead me through times of incredible pleasure... and he may lead me through times where I need to bite the bullet and resist all the urges to do what I want to do because He said "No" this time... and there are times where He will lead me through serious pain.  It is not that I am seeking a lifestyle...but I am seeking my Lord & King, Jesus.  I do not choose to be lax about everything, nor do I choose to treat every case with all seriousness and legalism, but I LEARN the voice of my King, my Savior, my Friend, and I move as He moves.  Praise the Lord that we have such a privilege to be so close to Him, who is above all things, and to know His very heart & will!  ...and we may come to realize that for the heart that listens, there is so much more to discover, and we may find a greater calling and purpose awaits us.

Lord, would you keep your children close to You, that we would not stray and follow our own way, but would learn to abide in You in all circumstances.  Show us more of Yourself that we might know You more, and know when You say "Go" and when You say "Stay" and when You say "Just pray". We trust in Your strength to keep us, for we are weak. May our time be redeemed and be used to glorify Your Name, in Jesus' Name.  

In Your Arms.

I read 1 Kings 17-19 this evening for my Bible reading plan this evening.  I had heard this song earlier on Pandora. It just touched reality in my heart right now.  And the reading was the story of Elijah ... and when the Lord was not in the rushing wind or the storm... but it was in the whisper. Am I quiet before Him?   Am I listening?  "Speak, oh Lord, for your servant is listening" -1 Samual 3:10.

"There's no other place for me than right where You are" -Meredith Andrews

Committed

...A word I have been recently challenged with.

Dictionary.com has given this insight...
COMMITTED:
1. to give in trust or charge; consign.
2. to consign for preservation
3. to pledge (oneself) to a position on an issue or question
4. to bind or obligate, as by pledge or assurance; pledge
5. to entrust, especially for safekeeping; commend

America notoriously has commitment issues.  We change our beliefs all the time, we get married, then divorced then married again.  We follow the media from right to wrong and don't have any one true conviction but just tend to go with what's popular.  What are we committed to?  Are we committed to anything but comfort, pleasure and self preservation?

I've had a little time to think over this in the last couple weeks, and I've found that my commitment to the Lord, it wavers.  One day I'm gung ho... I will fight with You to the end!! and the next day, I feel as though my flesh cannot help but fail.

But as I've meditated on this word, and as we can see in the definitions given above... I've found that commitment is indeed a decision that we make:  a choice that we make every day, every moment.  Am I fully committed unto the Lord?  What would that look like?  What would that mean for me?

It means my utter loyalty is unto Him alone.  His Word is above all else.  It means when He speaks, I listen and obey.  It means I have decided to let Him have all of me.
Practically ... When I wake up with a smile on my face and a revived heart I commit myself unto Him for the day, I turn my ear to Him, and listen for His leading.  And on the day when my strength fails, I commit myself to Him, and trust that He will be my strength.
When my flesh is just crying for what is easy in the moment, whether it be to come back at someone who said something unkind, or to just want to watch TV for hours after a tough day at work... or the temptation of committing ourselves to other things like fashion, food, or even family over the Lord.  When our flesh longs for what is easy... that it when we need to choose once again where our commitment lies.

"Then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve" -Joshua 24:15

**Note that if our choice is to serve the Lord, as Joshua and his household, then the Lord will strengthen us for the task at hand.  We do not need to trust in our own strength!**
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BUT, there is a secret to commitment.  Commitment is not just something we do because our religion tells us to commit ourselves to the Lord.  Yes, we should commit ourselves to the Lord.
But what makes us want to commit ourselves to Him?
Does He not first constrain us with His love?

Mary Magdalene was one who was fully devoted and committed to the Lord even following his resurrection.  But she was committed unto Him because she knew first hand how very precious the love, forgiveness, and redemption that was bestowed upon her, free of charge.  And she was a great sinner, who had been overcome by 7, yes 7 demons... before the love and power and forgiveness of the Lord freed her.

Have we been caught by this Love that will constrain us to commit to the Lord with our whole being?
Have we really known the Lord's love?  Have we known His redemption?  His freeing power?  His unconditional forgiveness?
Oh may the Lord reveal His love to us more and more, that we might be constrained!

If we have tasted this great love, is it not natural for us to commit ourselves unto Him, and to His beautiful and wonderful and glorious will?!  Let us not forget the greatness of the Love that has been shown to us!

Let us be fully committed to the One who first loved us.

let them see You...

too many times in the last few weeks have I let my mouth run before I actually thought about what I was going to say.  I let my reaction happen before I let Christ reign in me.
It left me with a lot of regret... and feelings of just helplessness in my own tendencies to be lead by sin & my old self.  I had prayed recently that the Lord would open the eyes of my heart... and I had asked him to humble me so that I would be useful to Him.  Both He accomplished.  I saw the depth of me.  & I saw my true condition before the perfect almighty King....
                                                                     ...and it was ugly.
I am truly just a sinner.  Only prone to sin... only prone to serve self.
I once again tried to claim the rights to my life... but it is not my life.. it was bought with a price.  Thank the Lord!

So once again I'm learning to yield "my" rights ... and say have Your way.   Help me get out of the way... may You alone be exalted.  May this world see You alone through me.

pray

thoughts from last week...


After a crazy busy week last week... & with everything going on in this nation & the world right now.  I have been reminded what is most important... & that is prayer.

Is it not obvious that there is much shaking going on in this world right now?
...I do hope and pray that we would wake up and smell reality.  Is not God allowing all of this that we might turn again, America?  What happened to the nation that was blessed and prosperous and free?  We have turned to anger, division, violence, blatant selfishness and blaming.  ...Has anyone ever wondered if it was because we've forgotten why were blessed in the first place?  Because GOD BLESSED America & we believed it was God's hand.  ...but now we "bless" ourselves, and leave God out of it... and corruption runs rampant.

Oh America, turn again!  Our God is loving and kind and always takes us back!  Seek Him in times of trouble!  Rest in His bosom, trust in His strength! & pray, yes pray with all your heart!  He is listening, and longs to hear from you!

May God draw us near to Himself once again and restore His testimony and His promise in this nation once again.  He is our protector, if only we would regard Him & listen and obey Him.  Oh how we need Him!


remember this verse..
"O, Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it!  How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!" -Matthew 23:37

...could we not change this out to say "O America, America..."

May we turn again, to the God who has given us all that is good and remember His promises and His faithfulness.  May we turn away from wickedness, self-righteousness, and humble ourselves and pray that this land may be healed.