I am reading through a book right now, called The School of Christ, by T. A. Sparks. I was reading and rereading this one section in the beginning which talks about the "other-ness" of God.
"'For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
nor are your ways My ways,' declares the LORD.
'For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways,
and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"
-Isaiah 55:8-9
So often I think I can try and figure out how the Lord is going to works things out, but He has been reminding me and revealing to me that I cannot predict what is going to happen. He is altogether different from me and His ways are not my ways. A couple times recently I prayed for things and expected certain things to come of the prayers... thinking in this way it would lead me closer to Him... and God allowed the opposite to occur. In my heart my intent was to draw nearer to the Lord, and to be undistracted by the stress of world and the temptations of the flesh. But instead of making things easier, which I believed would help me draw nearer to Him, He made me face that which was even more difficult.
...which at first made me really frustrated.
...but in His wisdom through these things He brought me to a further place of desperation for my Lord, with a deeper longing for Him, and a heart that sought Him out more and more.
"in the anguish of childbirth, until Christ is formed in you" -Gal 6:19b
He truly longs for Christ to be formed in us. For Christ to be fully revealed in us. Crushing of my flesh and my soul must take place for this to become a reality. I oftentimes think I know how God would make me into His image. But in reality, I have not a clue, He is the master builder not I, He is the one working in me, not I. He knows just the places that need chipping away at .. He knows just the times I need suffering to bring me back to Him, just the right amount of ache to keep me on my knees.
A brother once shared... "it is a good thing that this world is so terrible, otherwise we would grow too fond of it" ... the Lord beckons us; "Grow fond of Me..."
“Behold, I go forward, but he is not there,
and backward, but I do not perceive him;
9 on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him;
he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him.
10 But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold."
-Job 23:8-10
His ways are truly altogether different from mine... but they are indeed higher. I do not know, but I pray he helps me trust His thoughts. I do not see, but I pray that I can trust in Him to be my Vision.
I pray that whatever must me done to make me like Him, would be done.
May we have this heart as the Lord Jesus, "Not my will, but Thine be done".
Have Thine own way in us Lord, that You might be exalted in our lives and in your Church, that Christ might be formed in us.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Sunday, September 30, 2012
true consecration
I came to the piano to sit and play through some worship songs this evening, and was just blessed to be in the Lord's presence. It seems that often times this is the place the Lord seems to help me sort through the worries and commotion in my brain and process the different experiences I've faced in the past few days.
It was in this time after a rough couple of weeks at work and not enough sleep... that I was able to again reflect and see the Lord's goodness and faithfulness ... even when things to us look somewhat cloudy, and when i've felt that it was difficult to press on... the Lord has given so much grace.
After such a refreshing meeting with the body of Christ today, and a rekindling of the theme of consecration...I was reminded when I was playing through some hymns, that the Lord wants full control. Often times when I say I'm giving something up to the Lord, I may let it go in a physical sense, and outwardly look as if it's not bothering me... but often times I still let these things plague my mind and my heart. And I've realized that this is not true consecration, because true consecration is followed by peace.
When I've truly given something up to the Lord, I have known great freedom afterwards, and have been filled with joy and peace, because in replace of whatever I've given to the Lord, I receive more of the Lord himself... and what a blessing that is!
But when I say to the Lord ...here you can have this... and then continue to let it rule over my decisions... i.e. how I spend my money. Or if I say oh yes Lord, I do need to give my future up to you... and continue to analyze and try to figure how everything is going to pan out. These ways are not true consecration.
A brother in the Lord once shared, Isaac was not just a wee lad when he went on the alter, he was probably a young strapping man, and could have easily overtaken his father, Abraham, when God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. But Isaac must have had to have known what was going on in some sense, and was willing to have his hands bound by his father... and willing to go to the alter, and in doing so he helped Abraham obey the Lord.
Are we willing to have our hands bound by the father, and go to the alter without argument?
If not, may the Lord teach us how to say "Lord, make me willing" as our brother F.B. Meyer said to the Lord when he was not able to give up to the Lord something that was very special to him.
In true consecration we find that once we give up control we are blessed with such freedom in the Lord. When we go through our lives point by point and lay each part of our decisions, and how we spend our time, how we spend out money, giving up our future, and where we choose to meet for church gatherings, giving up the right to our job, and a perfect family, and letting go of the worldly influences we've let into our lives. When we bring these things before the Lord one by one, and truly consecrate them to the Lord...it's like the chains that the world has on our limbs are gradually loosed... so we have one part of us that is for Jesus only, Jesus ever and then we give up something else and another part is freed to be for Jesus only, Jesus ever.
This sounds hard, but once it is done... the blessing of having more of the Lord is beyond your wildest dreams worth it. He is soo good. and He is more than enough. What a wonderful Lord is Jesus my King. :)
May we learn to lay it all down and let it go to the alter... that the Life of Christ might be Lord in us, and that we might know more of His presence. :)
"Therefore, I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship" - Romans 12:1
Sunday, September 2, 2012
the desert
so many friends have been going through a time in their life lately where they have felt like God has pulled them out into the wilderness. a so-called long and windy road to the promised land. so many seem to be experiencing this pull from the Lord to get out of the world, and to just come and be alone with the Lord. A place full of uncertainty, full of questions, full of our own attempts to satisfy this longing within for something more...
in my own life the Lord has challenged me recently to give up some things that I have held on to for too long. To give up my expectations of how my life is going to turn out, and to learn to be satisfied with the Lord, even if He is all I ever receive, is He enough?
"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in You" - Psalm 39:7
He's also challenging me to simplify my life, to put away the overkill of technology, put away the time wasted doing things that have no eternal value, and to learn to take more time to sit before Him, take more time searching His word, and focusing on what His purpose is in each day, learning to not forsake the little things he asks of us.
...when the israelites were in the desert, they had 2 certainties, 1 - that when they woke up every day, there would be manna there for them to collect, and 2 - the pillar of cloud/fire would always lead them to their next place. But what caused them to stumble time and time again... is when they sought out egypt, when they saught things that were more pleasing to the eye and fulfilling to the senses, like the golden calf. They got caught on complaining because they did not trust the Lord. They had no vision of the promised land, and started getting tired of waiting for the Lord to act.
Do we get tired of waiting for the Lord to act? Honestly?
... you know why this is? .. it seems to me that this is because we are waiting for the blessings of God, and not actually waiting on the Lord Himself. For if we were to wait upon the Lord Himself, we would know His satisfaction. As a friend recently reminded me of a hymn "once it was the blessing, now it is the Lord" (http://www.biblebelievers.com/simpson-ab_himself.html).
It is a hard thing to go through the desert in our Christian walk. It feels alone, it feels deprived of "good feelings", it feels lacking in revival... and at times the light seems dim. But every day the Lord gave the israelites manna, and He lead them by the cloud/fire, and this was certain. This is also certain for us that He will provide us with Himself, the bread of Life, and He will be our portion for each day. And he promises to lead us and tell us to move when the time is right (note that the timing is not always when we think it should be).
He will not leave is us in the desert, but this time is so very much needed in our Christian life. We need to learn to be set apart from the world, we need to learn to be attracted to the Lord without all the blessings, and learn to know the Lord as our portion, our one true Blessing. Is this not a true test of our faith? When everything else is pulled out from under us... are we still seeking the face of our Lord? ..."to whom else shall we go?" -john 6:68
...and when we come into fellowship with our glorious Lord, how precious it becomes to sit at His feet and wait before Him like Mary did. To listen to his voice, and to know our God, who defines love. His voice penetrates all the stuff that we've built up as our "protection" as our "security" as our "hope" ... and He shows us by His gentle hand that He Is ENOUGH, and so much MORE than enough. He is the overflowing fountain that wells up within us when deep calls unto deep.
..so may we not be discouraged that the Lord brings us into the desert because of His love for us. So that we might depart from all that is all is of the flesh and of the world and enter into all that is good and right and pure and loving and just and holy, etc... that which is of God and is everlasting and with purpose.
May we learn to eat of his manna and be filled and wait for his word before we move.
in my own life the Lord has challenged me recently to give up some things that I have held on to for too long. To give up my expectations of how my life is going to turn out, and to learn to be satisfied with the Lord, even if He is all I ever receive, is He enough?
"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in You" - Psalm 39:7
He's also challenging me to simplify my life, to put away the overkill of technology, put away the time wasted doing things that have no eternal value, and to learn to take more time to sit before Him, take more time searching His word, and focusing on what His purpose is in each day, learning to not forsake the little things he asks of us.
...when the israelites were in the desert, they had 2 certainties, 1 - that when they woke up every day, there would be manna there for them to collect, and 2 - the pillar of cloud/fire would always lead them to their next place. But what caused them to stumble time and time again... is when they sought out egypt, when they saught things that were more pleasing to the eye and fulfilling to the senses, like the golden calf. They got caught on complaining because they did not trust the Lord. They had no vision of the promised land, and started getting tired of waiting for the Lord to act.
Do we get tired of waiting for the Lord to act? Honestly?
... you know why this is? .. it seems to me that this is because we are waiting for the blessings of God, and not actually waiting on the Lord Himself. For if we were to wait upon the Lord Himself, we would know His satisfaction. As a friend recently reminded me of a hymn "once it was the blessing, now it is the Lord" (http://www.biblebelievers.com/simpson-ab_himself.html).
It is a hard thing to go through the desert in our Christian walk. It feels alone, it feels deprived of "good feelings", it feels lacking in revival... and at times the light seems dim. But every day the Lord gave the israelites manna, and He lead them by the cloud/fire, and this was certain. This is also certain for us that He will provide us with Himself, the bread of Life, and He will be our portion for each day. And he promises to lead us and tell us to move when the time is right (note that the timing is not always when we think it should be).
He will not leave is us in the desert, but this time is so very much needed in our Christian life. We need to learn to be set apart from the world, we need to learn to be attracted to the Lord without all the blessings, and learn to know the Lord as our portion, our one true Blessing. Is this not a true test of our faith? When everything else is pulled out from under us... are we still seeking the face of our Lord? ..."to whom else shall we go?" -john 6:68
...and when we come into fellowship with our glorious Lord, how precious it becomes to sit at His feet and wait before Him like Mary did. To listen to his voice, and to know our God, who defines love. His voice penetrates all the stuff that we've built up as our "protection" as our "security" as our "hope" ... and He shows us by His gentle hand that He Is ENOUGH, and so much MORE than enough. He is the overflowing fountain that wells up within us when deep calls unto deep.
..so may we not be discouraged that the Lord brings us into the desert because of His love for us. So that we might depart from all that is all is of the flesh and of the world and enter into all that is good and right and pure and loving and just and holy, etc... that which is of God and is everlasting and with purpose.
May we learn to eat of his manna and be filled and wait for his word before we move.
Monday, August 13, 2012
the love of God
"The love of God is greater far
- Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.- Refrain:
Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure—
The saints’ and angels’ song.
- Refrain:
- When hoary time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—
The saints’ and angels’ song. - Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky."
"Verse 3 was penciled on the wall of a narrow room in an insane asylum by a man said to have been demented. The profound lines were discovered when they laid him in his coffin."
_________________________
in the last month, I have just felt overwhelmed by the Love of the Lord. I realized over and over again, how the Lord's work of the cross in our lives, is really a work of His great love. And in everything He's drawing us closer and closer to the center of Himself. how glorious!
...today I was thinking about our attempt at saving this world from poverty.... but if you go to Uganda, one of the poorest nations... you'll see some of the happiest people. In reality, we need to be saved from our wealth. ... what we have backwards is that trials are bad. that fires are to be fought with all our strength, and that we must do our best to avoid that which brings us to a place of discomfort.
...but what if the fires burn away the dross? What if it purifies the vessel? what if it brings this world out of complacency and darkness and brings us into the fullness of the love of God?
...may we not despise the cross. For it is our saving grace.
not only Jesus' dying on the cross, but the cross working out in our lives is our daily salvation. it saves us from ourselves, from the world, and brings us into the fullness of God that we were called to live in that Christ might be "all and in all".
the world says there can't be a God because of all the suffering that they see... but look within the suffering and chaos... and you will find those who feel more loved than the most wealthy celebrity, and the most powerful politician. In pain and darkness, we come to know the depths of the Father's love. And how incredibly wonderful it is. who would choose any other way?! this is the way of love, oh how blessed it is to walk in it! Come rain or shine, my Father's love constrains me to answer His call.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
vision with tears...
i feel as though I need to write out the turmoil that has invaded my heart, and the reality that the Lord has revealed to me. Today, the Lord opened my eyes... and I felt just a small piece of the pain that he must feel a billion times over, when he sees us, us being the people that roam the earth.
I was at work today... a rather slow day, where we actually had time to sit around and talk to each other as coworkers. I was at the computer when I overheard a conversation about how someone felt that they were being treated unfairly, and were comparing themselves to others and talking about how they had the rights to certain things that weren't given to them, and so on and so forth, with another employee agreeing with them and spurring them on. I don't know why this day stood out, because conversations happen like this all the time at work, where someone is complaining about someone else... or complaining about conditions and such (and i cannot say that i've never been one of them). But by some grace of God, I remembered the Lord Jesus as I overheard this conversation ... and I wanted to cry right then and there.
We are soo soo soo selfish. And we are always fighting for our rights, fighting for what we believe we deserve... fighting for our own freedom ... and fighting so that once we win one battle, we can go fight another one... so that we can become even more selfish.
How can our Maker look down on the people he gave life to and not cry?
HE is the CREATOR, the KING, the One who is ALL DESERVING. The One who had every right to abandon us, to let us wallow in our pity, and to sink in our sin.
BUT, He chose to love us, and not just as one friend loves another, but He gave up His very rights. He gave up what we would fight for today. He gave up His throne, His glory, His position, and He even gave up his freedom, and the God of this world was bound by chains made by men, and was beaten, whipped, cursed at and spit on, He was forced to carry the very cross he would be hung on to die up the hill called Calvary. Why did He do this? Because He looked at us and loved us, even in our sin. He looked at us and saw that if He gave up Himself we might be freed, and be able to live new life through Him, not one drowned by our own sin and selfishness and death. He saw that in this way, He could reclaim His beloved, and bring us back into His bosom where we might known rest and peace, and grace, and receive His eternal life.
We are so often fighting for our own rights. BUT when are we fighting for HIS rights. The rights that the Lord has in our lives here and now. He gave us HIS ALL, and we receive it so light heartedly, and then go back to fighting so hard for what we want, and what we believe we're entitled too.
You know what we're entitled to?? DEATH. Period. We do not deserve any better.
We cannot do anything to better ourselves. We have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. period.
Oh that the world would see and know how wretched and poor and blind we are!
and Oh that we would see the grace the Lord has lavished upon us!!
MAY WE WAKE UP AND SEE! Oh how we are in desperate need of the Savior, the Lord Jesus.
He has blessed us so much that He has offered to share His inheritance with us. May the Lord help us to willingly enter into it. May we let Him bless us with all the spiritual blessings in Christ. May we experience His riches and know His unfathomable love. When we fight for ourselves we are boxing the air, and just wasting energy. But when we stand in Christ, we need not fight, but simply rest in the victory that He has already won for us. Hallelujah! May we see this and be freed!
"But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. For this reason it says,
“Awake, sleeper,
And arise from the dead,
And Christ will shine on you.”
-Ephesians 5:13-14
Sunday, April 15, 2012
sit with Me
some days like today ... i have this thirst within me that i think needs to be filled with friends or family ... or sleep... or good feelings. but at the end of the day.... i've realized it's just the Lord trying to draw me to Himself, and only sitting in His presence is what can satisfy me. ...something which it seems everything around me is fighting against. why is it so hard to sit before the Lord, and commune with Him as friend with friend?
sometimes i feel that my problem is loneliness, and i just need a buddy to solve my problems ... but sometimes even after spending a day speaking with hundreds of people... some of them close friends...i still feel lacking. today I just appreciated being alone.
...not just alone, but alone before God.
I thought it was just my introvertedness making a comeback, but honestly I think it's just the lack of true communing fellowship with my heavenly Father.
even in our fellowship this week, we talked about remembering that Jesus is a person, and that like any other person a relationship with Him needs to be cultivated. I pray that I would not view cultivating a relationship with my Lord Jesus as a chore, but as a blessed joy, and full of wonder, as in seeing just a glimpse of Him has changed my life, should I then become so dull and half-hearted??... and become satisfied with knowing just the smallest part of the fullness of God? May my prayer be to ever long to know more of my Lord.
I pray that this would be my prayer, as our brother prays:
"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus’ name, Amen"
-Following Hard After God, The Pursuit of God, by A.W. Tozer
The Father calls us to come and sit with Him. That we might know the depths of His love, and learn of His nature, and come to know His heart's desires. May we learn to sit with the Lord, and experience this great revelation of Himself, in the simplicity and likeness of a Father and child.
sometimes i feel that my problem is loneliness, and i just need a buddy to solve my problems ... but sometimes even after spending a day speaking with hundreds of people... some of them close friends...i still feel lacking. today I just appreciated being alone.
...not just alone, but alone before God.
I thought it was just my introvertedness making a comeback, but honestly I think it's just the lack of true communing fellowship with my heavenly Father.
even in our fellowship this week, we talked about remembering that Jesus is a person, and that like any other person a relationship with Him needs to be cultivated. I pray that I would not view cultivating a relationship with my Lord Jesus as a chore, but as a blessed joy, and full of wonder, as in seeing just a glimpse of Him has changed my life, should I then become so dull and half-hearted??... and become satisfied with knowing just the smallest part of the fullness of God? May my prayer be to ever long to know more of my Lord.
I pray that this would be my prayer, as our brother prays:
"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus’ name, Amen"
-Following Hard After God, The Pursuit of God, by A.W. Tozer
The Father calls us to come and sit with Him. That we might know the depths of His love, and learn of His nature, and come to know His heart's desires. May we learn to sit with the Lord, and experience this great revelation of Himself, in the simplicity and likeness of a Father and child.
Friday, April 6, 2012
surprises
so today, I finally got out around the lake, and was able to get some exercise in, which hasn't happened for awhile, so I was glad to, and was excited to try out my new minimalist running shoes, which were pretty fun... but definitely increased soreness to the calves afterwards :p.
After running for a bit, I grew pretty tired and out of breath, and I walked for a bit. the lake is always so pretty when the sun is out, and especially around sunset, so I stopped and walked a bit closer to the lake (further from the path) to stop and appreciate the beauty of some birds resting on the water, and the pretty scenery behind them. But just as I was about to try and take a picture, this huge bird came out of no where and startled all of the birds... and myself, I wasn't quick enough with the phone to capture the moment, all I saw was the glorious white head and tail of this eagle. He then swooped up and rested on a high branch nearby, and I could not help but follow him. Something about the bald eagle just captured me, and brought a smile to my face... and gave me a little hope. :)
After running for a bit, I grew pretty tired and out of breath, and I walked for a bit. the lake is always so pretty when the sun is out, and especially around sunset, so I stopped and walked a bit closer to the lake (further from the path) to stop and appreciate the beauty of some birds resting on the water, and the pretty scenery behind them. But just as I was about to try and take a picture, this huge bird came out of no where and startled all of the birds... and myself, I wasn't quick enough with the phone to capture the moment, all I saw was the glorious white head and tail of this eagle. He then swooped up and rested on a high branch nearby, and I could not help but follow him. Something about the bald eagle just captured me, and brought a smile to my face... and gave me a little hope. :)
When I started walking/running again, I pondered about this some, and I was reminded how some things in life are so unexpected... ....yet we cannot wait around for them to happen, because we may never know if or when they will. Our position should simply be to follow the Lord, and He may bring unexpected things that may surprise us in a good way or things may come up suddenly that discourage us. But either way, we must learn to live in the here and now, and trust that the Lord will always lead us into what is perfect, and that which will bring Him glory. And he has promised to never leave or forsake us. My life may change, and the unexpected may occur or not occur, but that is not for me to dwell on. I must learn to dwell always on my Lord, and not put hope in false expectations, but put my hope in Him, for He never changes, and loves us so dearly that He gave himself up.
thanks to a friend who reminded me of this verse after seeing this shot.
"Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
-Isaiah 40:30-31
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