some days like today ... i have this thirst within me that i think needs to be filled with friends or family ... or sleep... or good feelings. but at the end of the day.... i've realized it's just the Lord trying to draw me to Himself, and only sitting in His presence is what can satisfy me. ...something which it seems everything around me is fighting against. why is it so hard to sit before the Lord, and commune with Him as friend with friend?
sometimes i feel that my problem is loneliness, and i just need a buddy to solve my problems ... but sometimes even after spending a day speaking with hundreds of people... some of them close friends...i still feel lacking. today I just appreciated being alone.
...not just alone, but alone before God.
I thought it was just my introvertedness making a comeback, but honestly I think it's just the lack of true communing fellowship with my heavenly Father.
even in our fellowship this week, we talked about remembering that Jesus is a person, and that like any other person a relationship with Him needs to be cultivated. I pray that I would not view cultivating a relationship with my Lord Jesus as a chore, but as a blessed joy, and full of wonder, as in seeing just a glimpse of Him has changed my life, should I then become so dull and half-hearted??... and become satisfied with knowing just the smallest part of the fullness of God? May my prayer be to ever long to know more of my Lord.
I pray that this would be my prayer, as our brother prays:
"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus’ name, Amen"
-Following Hard After God, The Pursuit of God, by A.W. Tozer
The Father calls us to come and sit with Him. That we might know the depths of His love, and learn of His nature, and come to know His heart's desires. May we learn to sit with the Lord, and experience this great revelation of Himself, in the simplicity and likeness of a Father and child.
Thanks for sharing! This is exactly how Satan try to trick us, by using up our time with the world so that we don't have time for our Lord. But God's desire is to have a relationship with HIS children, just like a loving father with his child always patiently waiting for us to turn to HIM. I remember He always woke me up in the early morning to have fellowship with HIM those are good time fill with joy & peace from above.
ReplyDelete1 Thessalonians 5:23