the song completes that line as "this i know, for the Bible tells me so"
... it's the knowing part that I often struggle with. yes, i "know" that Jesus loves me, infact, I share it with people often... yay (well maybe not as often as i should).
...however there's that part of me that climbs out of me time and time again that whispers... "you are not satisfied with your life... didn't Jesus say you would be satisfied?" .
... this hint of temptation... that causes me to look away from the Lord and at myself and my own circumstance ... and say "what the heck is wrong with me?!? how come everyone else seems to have it right but me?!" ... the funny thing being that we all have this very similar issue.
I know Jesus loves me, but my heart wavers to the part of believing this knowledge, because it's easy to be distracted and get caught up in thinking Jesus' love towards me should always come as a physical blessing.
I was listening to a sermon today, and the preacher said, "yes, I still believe that the Lord wants to bless us" ...or something to that extent.
..and it's like a light dawned. Suddenly, the Lord met me, and seemed to whisper in my heart "yes, I want to bless you, yes I love you, .....yes I bled, for you."
it's as if I'm looking everywhere for the blessing, when the One who gives it is an arm's length away. Why do i have to relearn this lesson so many times??
"once it was the blessing now it is the Lord..."
Our vision of blessing is so skewed too, we view blessing through the world's eyes, when every blessing that God gives, brings glory to Himself. Sometimes it might be something that seems so positive, a new child, a marriage, a job opening, or an opportunity for ministry in something you are so passionate for.... other times a blessing might be loneliness, poverty, or a seemingly daunting task that is way over your head. The positive times and the difficult times... are all positive in the Lord's eyes, because He uses each and every one of them to bring glory to Himself, but also to change us into the likeness of Christ.
... and you know what is so good about that? ... well there are a lot of things...
... but one thing is that as we become more like Christ, we learn to abide in Him more, and we become more satisfied, more full of joy, more focused and obedient, more willing to accomplish the task at hand whatever it may be, and more in love with our Lord.
I'm sick of being dissatisfied, cuz honestly it makes me feel like crap. and i go into the phases where i just feel like blah. so .... today I will look to my Lord.
I know that He loves me, that everything He has given to me, will benefit me, and the body of Christ, and lead me onward towards His kingdom. I know He loves me, so I will learn to trust Him in everything. Even if it means bearing with some difficult stuff sometimes... because He gave me His strength to bear it.
...and the meat of all of this really comes down to... am i willing to put aside the distractions i would give myself to ignore my issues... tv, iphone games, facebook, movies, random tasks to obsess over...
...and am I willing to face my sin, face the issues that I deal with every day, face the challenges and lay them before the cross and spending that time in prayer and fellowship with my Lord, cuz if my life is any testimony... that is what makes the difference.
if I am willing to be loved by the Lord, to take that time and chat with Him like a friend, if I am willing to let myself go free and be embraced my Father, and no longer enslaved to the world and its lusts...
... then there is One waiting to shower me with His love, to pour down His blessings .... to instruct me and help me, to walk beside me as a friend, a brother, a master.
He is a beautiful Lord. May we know the depths of His love, and be willing to take the time to experience it in our lives.
Will you let the Lord love you today?
Monday, December 19, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
looking up... :)
there's something about looking horizontal that makes my heart grow cold and bitter. whether it's towards starvation in the Sudan that seems unnecessary with the world's wealth, or the game of politics that splashes the news night after night.... maybe it's the sickening fame that everyone seems to running after these days. ...or the false sense of "bliss" that comes with the holidays.... where the world tries to pretend through the media and advertisements, and a forced "spirit of giving" etc, etc ... that the world is alright after all.
...sorry not trying to dampen your spirit, just trying to be real.
not just looking at the world ... but at the Church ... at our friends, at our lives ... it's easy to get down.
...when we focus on the horizontal ... we focus on the temporary bliss, the temporary hurt, we get angry about little things, and depressed because things aren't going like the fairy tales promised they would. We judge, we compare, we obsess, and we digress into the black hole of self-absorption. It's no secret that this world is fading away... it's no secret that things are getting worse, ...and it's no secret that you and i don't look half as good as some of those made up chicks who's body parts are only half real.... ha. sorry. i just had to throw that in there to lighten things up some.
but friends. as a reminder to myself and to you.
...we do not belong here. it is not our home. may we not get fixated on the things that are temporal, for it will only bring sadness, dissatisfaction, frustration, and bitterness.
...but when we look to our Lord, not only do we have hope for a future, but we will know how to live today in His purpose, with joy and satisfaction, with peace, and graciousness, with sincerity in our love towards others, and a heart that is not afraid of being seen as "less than" or "foolish" by the world, because our God is great, and His promise is sure.
...and to make things even better... He promised that He would carry out what He began. So let us let go, and trust, that even in this crazy world, God is doing a mighty work.
May we look up and submit to His leading that we might walk in the peace and purpose that the Holy Spirit brings. :)
...sorry not trying to dampen your spirit, just trying to be real.
not just looking at the world ... but at the Church ... at our friends, at our lives ... it's easy to get down.
...when we focus on the horizontal ... we focus on the temporary bliss, the temporary hurt, we get angry about little things, and depressed because things aren't going like the fairy tales promised they would. We judge, we compare, we obsess, and we digress into the black hole of self-absorption. It's no secret that this world is fading away... it's no secret that things are getting worse, ...and it's no secret that you and i don't look half as good as some of those made up chicks who's body parts are only half real.... ha. sorry. i just had to throw that in there to lighten things up some.
but friends. as a reminder to myself and to you.
...we do not belong here. it is not our home. may we not get fixated on the things that are temporal, for it will only bring sadness, dissatisfaction, frustration, and bitterness.
...but when we look to our Lord, not only do we have hope for a future, but we will know how to live today in His purpose, with joy and satisfaction, with peace, and graciousness, with sincerity in our love towards others, and a heart that is not afraid of being seen as "less than" or "foolish" by the world, because our God is great, and His promise is sure.
...and to make things even better... He promised that He would carry out what He began. So let us let go, and trust, that even in this crazy world, God is doing a mighty work.
May we look up and submit to His leading that we might walk in the peace and purpose that the Holy Spirit brings. :)
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
halfway there...
"After you give yourself to the Lord, he begins to break what was offered to Him. Everything seems to go wrong, and you protest and find fault with the ways of God. But to say there is to be no more than a broken vessel - no good for the world because you have gone to far for the world to use you, and no good for God either, because you have not gone far enough for Him to use you. You are out of gear with the world, and you have controversy with God. This is the tragedy of many a Christian." -Watchman Nee, NCL
is this true?
At first one like myself might think that God could use us at any stage... whether we have given our all or not... and I think it's true, for the sake of his own glory, He will sometimes use one who is lukewarm. But how much can you do with someone who is only half into what you are doing.
...Say you are on a mission to find a long lost family member in France, but you only have one week's time to go on this search. You go to Paris ... and are so attracted by the Eiffel tower and "L'Arc de Triomphe, the designer clothes and the beautiful gardens ... that you find yourself spending less time what you originally came for, even though time is short.
Is this not we are today? Are we not lukewarm? Are we not seeking after vanities of vanities? Are we not often grasping after something that is dying?
I sometimes obey the Lord, I sometimes get up early enough for morning devotions, I sometimes pray for the lost and struggling, I sometimes trust in the Lord's strength instead of my own, I sometimes really mean it when I say 'Lord I give you my all".
I also sometimes choose tv over the Lord, I sometimes fool around too much on facebook even when an urge comes for me to go to bed. I sometimes don't talk to people even though I should, because I'm a coward and often don't trust in the Lord's strength.
"'I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.'" - Revelation 3:15-22
"My giving myself to the Lord, must be an initial fundamental act. Then, day by day, I must go on giving to Him, not finding fault with his use of me, but accepting with praise even what the flesh finds hard. That way lies true enrichment....I do no consecrate myself to be a missionary or a preacher; I consecrate myself to God to do His will where I am, be it in school, office or kitchen or wherever he may, in his wisdom, send me...May we always be possessed with this consciousness that we are not our own." - Watchman Nee, NCL
It is all or nothing my friends... may we, by the Lord's grace, be zealous and repent, and may He anoint our eyes with salve that we may see what is real, the reality of His Lordship and his coming kingdom. May our deepest desire be after solely this, and may our eyes not waiver from the Prize.
is this true?
At first one like myself might think that God could use us at any stage... whether we have given our all or not... and I think it's true, for the sake of his own glory, He will sometimes use one who is lukewarm. But how much can you do with someone who is only half into what you are doing.
...Say you are on a mission to find a long lost family member in France, but you only have one week's time to go on this search. You go to Paris ... and are so attracted by the Eiffel tower and "L'Arc de Triomphe, the designer clothes and the beautiful gardens ... that you find yourself spending less time what you originally came for, even though time is short.
Is this not we are today? Are we not lukewarm? Are we not seeking after vanities of vanities? Are we not often grasping after something that is dying?
I sometimes obey the Lord, I sometimes get up early enough for morning devotions, I sometimes pray for the lost and struggling, I sometimes trust in the Lord's strength instead of my own, I sometimes really mean it when I say 'Lord I give you my all".
I also sometimes choose tv over the Lord, I sometimes fool around too much on facebook even when an urge comes for me to go to bed. I sometimes don't talk to people even though I should, because I'm a coward and often don't trust in the Lord's strength.
"'I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.'" - Revelation 3:15-22
"My giving myself to the Lord, must be an initial fundamental act. Then, day by day, I must go on giving to Him, not finding fault with his use of me, but accepting with praise even what the flesh finds hard. That way lies true enrichment....I do no consecrate myself to be a missionary or a preacher; I consecrate myself to God to do His will where I am, be it in school, office or kitchen or wherever he may, in his wisdom, send me...May we always be possessed with this consciousness that we are not our own." - Watchman Nee, NCL
It is all or nothing my friends... may we, by the Lord's grace, be zealous and repent, and may He anoint our eyes with salve that we may see what is real, the reality of His Lordship and his coming kingdom. May our deepest desire be after solely this, and may our eyes not waiver from the Prize.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
stop moping around .....praise Him!
lately there has been a lot of fog. a lot of not knowing what the future will look like. a lot of not knowing what to do with the current circumstances. a lot of not knowing how to process different happenings in life. not knowing how to be a good testimony, not knowing how to face the challenges that come up at work, in the body of Christ, and my personal experiences. i've finally come to the point of not knowing anything.
with little strength, little wisdom, and a way full of uncertainty ... I come before the throne of grace.
i have been reminded recently, by the Holy Spirit, that I need to lift up my voice in praise.
giving praise to God ...during the times of utter chaos and confusion, during times where the clouds have just rolled in, during times that it seems everyone is swimming the opposite direction, and times where strength is non-existent.... giving praise to God in these times seems so irrational, doesn't it? ... i mean the rest of the world would tell us to blame God ... remember Job's experience?
But one of God's great mysteries .... is that when we praise Him in the midst of crisis... how often do we feel immediately strengthened by Him? when we Praise for no other reason apart from his death on the cross .... even in this... do we not find rest in giving Him praise? Do we not somehow, because of lifting our eye to give thanks to Jesus, feel so incredibly blessed, and suddenly in the Lord's presence. What a blessing it is to lift our hearts and our thanks to Jesus in times of difficulty.
He is always worthy of being praised, but I believe that if we're willing to praise Him during these hard times, then we have recognized that life is not all about us. We've finally come to a place where we can say, "Jesus, I love you and worship You, because you are seated on the throne! You are Lord, and King, and Your Name is to be ever trusted!" ... when we do this, even in praising Him, we are denying ourselves, and because of this ... we can enter into the Joy of the Lord, and be at peace.
So praise Him! He is always worthy of our praise ... but are we willing to offer it up? Are we willing to stop moping around, and lift our praises, our hands, our hearts and our lives to worship the King?
oh... in doing so, we will find much greater fulfillment then we currently know in our circumstance.
Lord, teach us to praise you, help us to lift our voices and sing a song of thanksgiving, to the One who has given us everything.
with little strength, little wisdom, and a way full of uncertainty ... I come before the throne of grace.
i have been reminded recently, by the Holy Spirit, that I need to lift up my voice in praise.
giving praise to God ...during the times of utter chaos and confusion, during times where the clouds have just rolled in, during times that it seems everyone is swimming the opposite direction, and times where strength is non-existent.... giving praise to God in these times seems so irrational, doesn't it? ... i mean the rest of the world would tell us to blame God ... remember Job's experience?
But one of God's great mysteries .... is that when we praise Him in the midst of crisis... how often do we feel immediately strengthened by Him? when we Praise for no other reason apart from his death on the cross .... even in this... do we not find rest in giving Him praise? Do we not somehow, because of lifting our eye to give thanks to Jesus, feel so incredibly blessed, and suddenly in the Lord's presence. What a blessing it is to lift our hearts and our thanks to Jesus in times of difficulty.
He is always worthy of being praised, but I believe that if we're willing to praise Him during these hard times, then we have recognized that life is not all about us. We've finally come to a place where we can say, "Jesus, I love you and worship You, because you are seated on the throne! You are Lord, and King, and Your Name is to be ever trusted!" ... when we do this, even in praising Him, we are denying ourselves, and because of this ... we can enter into the Joy of the Lord, and be at peace.
So praise Him! He is always worthy of our praise ... but are we willing to offer it up? Are we willing to stop moping around, and lift our praises, our hands, our hearts and our lives to worship the King?
oh... in doing so, we will find much greater fulfillment then we currently know in our circumstance.
Lord, teach us to praise you, help us to lift our voices and sing a song of thanksgiving, to the One who has given us everything.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
longing for heaven and home...
as i drove home today... this first verse seemed to speak to exactly what i was feeling.
....there was some craziness that happened today that made me just long for heaven's gates. Oh how depraved this world is. How full of greed, hate, anger, depression, sadness, confusion, sickness and death it is... to which all are linked to sin. What a glorious day it will be when our Lord returns & darkness no long has dominion!
...but in reality, as i meditate on these things, Satan, sin and death have already been dealt with on the cross, right? It seems to me that it made a way for us to choose life over death, which before the option was not available for us. We can now choose to live by the Holy Spirit, instead of by the rules of sin, satan, and death aka the ways of the world. However, these things are still very present around us in the world, but the key is to keep our eyes fixed on the things above ... and to remember that we are in this world, but not of it, "we're just a passing through".
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." -Colossians 3:1-4
praise be to Jesus. let us seek the things that are above...and set our minds on things that are above. For to be hidden in Christ is our glory, through His death burial and resurrection, we are In Christ Jesus.
but there is a Day coming, when Satan and sin and suffering will be no longer... and what a beautiful day that will be! A day of rejoicing! Let our hearts be glad, because His eye is on the sparrow, and He will one day return for His bride. :) Praise be to our Lord!
gnight :).
....there was some craziness that happened today that made me just long for heaven's gates. Oh how depraved this world is. How full of greed, hate, anger, depression, sadness, confusion, sickness and death it is... to which all are linked to sin. What a glorious day it will be when our Lord returns & darkness no long has dominion!
...but in reality, as i meditate on these things, Satan, sin and death have already been dealt with on the cross, right? It seems to me that it made a way for us to choose life over death, which before the option was not available for us. We can now choose to live by the Holy Spirit, instead of by the rules of sin, satan, and death aka the ways of the world. However, these things are still very present around us in the world, but the key is to keep our eyes fixed on the things above ... and to remember that we are in this world, but not of it, "we're just a passing through".
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." -Colossians 3:1-4
praise be to Jesus. let us seek the things that are above...and set our minds on things that are above. For to be hidden in Christ is our glory, through His death burial and resurrection, we are In Christ Jesus.
but there is a Day coming, when Satan and sin and suffering will be no longer... and what a beautiful day that will be! A day of rejoicing! Let our hearts be glad, because His eye is on the sparrow, and He will one day return for His bride. :) Praise be to our Lord!
gnight :).
Sunday, October 16, 2011
letting go.
I am so thankful for the last week, and the abundance of grace that the Lord has poured out on me. I feel like this renewing that has happened in my spirit, is nothing of what I have done, but must be due to the Lord relentlessly pursuing after me. What a gracious, loving, merciful heavenly Father we have.
finally being able to truly come before him without the world getting in the way...
...it's amazing the peace that His presence brings. It's amazing that when one truly enters into His love and understands His Lordship, how little and insignificant everything else becomes.
I was striving, and working to pursue something "good". ... and now I know I must pursue only God, who is the only One who is good.
"My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;
'Tis His to lead me there—not mine, but His—
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road."
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/nt/350#ixzz1b13qh4xH
finally being able to truly come before him without the world getting in the way...
...it's amazing the peace that His presence brings. It's amazing that when one truly enters into His love and understands His Lordship, how little and insignificant everything else becomes.
I was striving, and working to pursue something "good". ... and now I know I must pursue only God, who is the only One who is good.
"My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;
'Tis His to lead me there—not mine, but His—
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road."
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/nt/350#ixzz1b13qh4xH
Be sovereign, Oh Lord. Take back the crown that we have taken from you for too long, and take your place on the throne of our hearts. Have Your way in us, and help us to surrender to it in joy. :).
May our sole pursuit be You and Your Kingdom.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
done with me.
sometimes i just really need to learn to deny myself. and i think for each of us we can say God gives us ample opportunity to do so. ....but often times we are so blind in our own selfish ways of doing things, blind to our own manipulative ways we have of drowning out God's voice.
.... but how refreshing is it... when a brother or sister comes and points out something off in our lives that seems so obvious to them. Thank the Lord that our brothers and sisters are the ones who keep us accountable, who sharpen us, and who help keep us on the straight and narrow and get us back in the Lord, when we may have been caught up in ourselves for too long, and lost in our own train of thought.
tonight i just feel like i need to be done thinking, done evaluating, done analyzing, done with me and my head, my ideas of what is right and wrong, done with my ideas of what is good and bad, done with me perceptions of this world. done with my interpretations. and just done with me.
Jesus is all.
.... so why am I wasting time.... trying to glorify myself.... i'm just making a fool of me that's all.
Jesus is all.
...so why do i spend so much time planning, and deciphering, weighing options, and just getting caught up in the details.
Jesus is EVerything
... so shut up already Jess and let him do His thing!
May all glory and honor and praises be unto Him who sits on the throne.
:).
i love my Maker.
He is so very patient, and so very kind.
And so willing to change us, by doing whatever it takes.
:)
And I'm am so blessed to be a part of the Body of Christ.
gnight friends.
.... but how refreshing is it... when a brother or sister comes and points out something off in our lives that seems so obvious to them. Thank the Lord that our brothers and sisters are the ones who keep us accountable, who sharpen us, and who help keep us on the straight and narrow and get us back in the Lord, when we may have been caught up in ourselves for too long, and lost in our own train of thought.
tonight i just feel like i need to be done thinking, done evaluating, done analyzing, done with me and my head, my ideas of what is right and wrong, done with my ideas of what is good and bad, done with me perceptions of this world. done with my interpretations. and just done with me.
Jesus is all.
.... so why am I wasting time.... trying to glorify myself.... i'm just making a fool of me that's all.
Jesus is all.
...so why do i spend so much time planning, and deciphering, weighing options, and just getting caught up in the details.
Jesus is EVerything
... so shut up already Jess and let him do His thing!
May all glory and honor and praises be unto Him who sits on the throne.
:).
i love my Maker.
He is so very patient, and so very kind.
And so willing to change us, by doing whatever it takes.
:)
And I'm am so blessed to be a part of the Body of Christ.
gnight friends.
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