sit with Me

some days like today ... i have this thirst within me that i think needs to be filled with friends or family ... or sleep... or good feelings.  but at the end of the day.... i've realized it's just the Lord trying to draw me to Himself, and only sitting in His presence is what can satisfy me.    ...something which it seems everything around me is fighting against.  why is it so hard to sit before the Lord, and commune with Him as friend with friend?

sometimes i feel that my problem is loneliness, and i just need a buddy to solve my problems ... but sometimes even after spending a day speaking with hundreds of people... some of them close friends...i still feel lacking.   today I just appreciated being alone.
...not just alone, but alone before God.

I thought it was just my introvertedness making a comeback, but honestly I think it's just the lack of true communing fellowship with my heavenly Father.

even in our fellowship this week, we talked about remembering that Jesus is a person, and that like any other person a relationship with Him needs to be cultivated.  I pray that I would not view cultivating a relationship with my Lord Jesus as a chore, but as a blessed joy, and full of wonder, as in seeing just a glimpse of Him has changed my life, should I then become so dull and half-hearted??... and become satisfied with knowing just the smallest part of the fullness of God?  May my prayer be to ever long to know more of my Lord.

I pray that this would be my prayer, as our brother prays:
"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus’ name, Amen"
-Following Hard After God, The Pursuit of God, by A.W. Tozer

The Father calls us to come and sit with Him.  That we might know the depths of His love, and learn of His nature, and come to know His heart's desires.  May we learn to sit with the Lord, and experience this great revelation of Himself, in the simplicity and likeness of a Father and child.

surprises

so today, I finally got out around the lake, and was able to get some exercise in, which hasn't happened for awhile, so I was glad to, and was excited to try out my new minimalist running shoes, which were pretty fun... but definitely increased soreness to the calves afterwards :p.

After running for a bit, I grew pretty tired and out of breath, and I walked for a bit.  the lake is always so pretty when the sun is out, and especially around sunset, so I stopped and walked a bit closer to the lake (further from the path) to stop and appreciate the beauty of some birds resting on the water, and the pretty scenery behind them.  But just as I was about to try and take a picture, this huge bird came out of no where and startled all of the birds... and myself, I wasn't quick enough with the phone to capture the moment, all I saw was the glorious white head and tail of this eagle.  He then swooped up and rested on a high branch nearby, and I could not help but follow him.  Something about the bald eagle just captured me, and brought a smile to my face... and gave me a little hope.  :)

When I started walking/running again, I pondered about this some, and I was reminded how some things in life are so unexpected... ....yet we cannot wait around for them to happen, because we may never know if or when they will.  Our position should simply be to follow the Lord, and He may bring unexpected things that may surprise us in a good way or things may come up suddenly that discourage us.  But either way, we must learn to live in the here and now, and trust that the Lord will always lead us into what is perfect, and that which will bring Him glory.  And he has promised to never leave or forsake us.  My life may change, and the unexpected may occur or not occur, but that is not for me to dwell on.  I must learn to dwell always on my Lord, and not put hope in false expectations, but put my hope in Him, for He never changes, and loves us so dearly that He gave himself up. 

thanks to a friend who reminded me of this verse after seeing this shot. 

"Even youths grow tired and weary,

   and young men stumble and fall; 

but those who hope in the LORD 

   will renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles; 

   they will run and not grow weary, 

   they will walk and not be faint."

-Isaiah 40:30-31