waiting...

a poem i found in my notes from last may...I added and adjusted some.  

Waiting for the adventures of life to unfold, 

wondering what stories will be told,

sometimes wishing that I could know the road.  

But in the mean time, I'll learn to hold,

...yes, I'll learn to hold on to You. 

In the mean time, I'll learn to set my gaze You.  

In the mean time, I'll cling solely to what is truth.

In the mean time, O, in the mean time...

...I'll come to learn that life's greatest adventure is found in You. 

So many days I'm putting my hope in things that will fade,

trying to grasp at something that is slipping away

waiting for the perfect life to show it's face

forgetting that perfection is only found in Your grace.  

I no longer have to wait...is what I've finally learned

I've already been given that for which my spirit yearns

My Savior's Life abundant, deep within me burns

but for one thing I wait, my precious Lord's return.  

_____

Waiting is not my favorite thing to do.  Lets be honest, who likes to wait?  But look to the book of Psalms, and you will find verse after verse after verse on waiting on the Lord...

"none who wait for you shall be put to shame" - Psalm 25:3

"for you I wait all the day long" - Psalm 25:5

"wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; and wait for the Lord!" - Psalm 27:14

"for God alone my soul waits in silence" - Psalm 62:1

"my soul waits for the Lord, more than the watchmen for the morning" - psalm 130:6

...and it other books...

"wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you"  - Proverbs 20:22

'but those who wait for the Lord, shall renew their strength..." - Isaiah 43:1

"the Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him." Lamentations 3:25

"But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation..." - Micah 7:7

"'Therefore, wait for Me', declares the Lord." - Zephaniah 3:8

"For through the spirit, by faith, we ourselves eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness." - Galatians 5:5

"And thus Abraham, having patiently waited, obtained the promise." - Hebrews 6:15

...these are but a few, but is it talking about waiting for a certain event to happen or for the Lord to accomplish something grand??.. Not really, no.  It is waiting upon the Lord, waiting in the secret place to make himself known to us.  To wait upon someone is to attend to them.  To give them your attention.  The Lord desires our attention, because He wants to reveal so much to us and bringer into a fuller purpose of life, a life live out unto Him, and by Him and through Him.  But so often we get so caught up in our busy days... we hope in the things that will one day be taken from us... and secret place, that inner sanctuary... remains covered in dust.  Will we neglect this beautiful, wonderful invitation that was handed to us when Jesus took the nails for us?  To enter into his life and his glory?  Why neglect learning of Him?  He is the only one that offers peace.  He is truth and light, Love, righteousness, & holiness.  He defines these things and He desires that we come and learn of Him, spend time with Him, and wait before Him.  

...when we wait on the world ... we will receive temporary pleasures, new gadgets, friends, and of course death...for that is where all the temporary ends. 

 

When we wait on the Lord, He reveals more of his life in us, and we gain that which is eternal.  He supplies us with contentment, peace, joy, and vision.  He changes us into His likeness, and readies us for His coming again.  The God of this universe finds joy in revealing the secrets of His heart to us, and this what He does when we learn to sit before Him.  

...Is there really much of a choice here between the two?

      What/who are you waiting on?     

"And now O, Lord, for what do I wait?  My hope is in you." - Psalm 39:4

Gratitude

pure

Sometimes I feel so blah when I leave work...
   ...i feel like it's dirtiness just sinks in and just leaves me longing for purity.
Today was one of those days...

As I was driving home, I felt the Lord placing this word in my heart... Pure. What does that mean?  How can I keep my way pure?  ...even in such a filthy world.

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word." - Psalm 119:9

I was reminded of the picture of these clear jewels that would make of the City of God in the Kingdom of Heaven.  When I came home I sat down at the piano, and was moved to play the song "Refiner's Fire".  As I played the song I was reminded that purity is not something that we just learn based off of habit or by rules we apply in our lives, but purity only happens when that which is not pure is burned away.  I feel as though purity and holiness lie hand in hand.  The Lord seems to be revealing to me that both happen with the process of sanctification. It is as we grow in the Lord and learn more and more to live by His word, and abide in Christ, and have daily lessons of the cross.  In these experiences, we learn of our failures, of the things we have not yet fully given up to God, we learn of our weakness, and we learn how to piece by piece let God take over all of our lives.  In doing this piece by piece we let the Lord purify us and let the cross deal with that which is not yet pure.  

I know for me... it's so easy to see my failure and right away just long for the complete purity and complete holiness and complete salvation to be a reality in me now.  But diamonds don't just come like pebbles on the beach.  They need intense pressure and heat and time even before they reach the earth's surface in order to become the hard clear gem that the world calls precious.

Yes, we all have days where we feel beaten and bruised from the world, sometimes dragged under... and sometimes just feel like we're not cut out to be a testimony of Christ.  But in these days... if we stop looking at ourselves...and we look to the Lord... and are willing to come to Him with a willing ear ready to learn, and surrender, and lay down who we are before ... no matter our number of failures.  In this He will find a useful vessel... and the struggle will not be in vain.

I found an incredible verse yesterday while reading through Job....
   "He delivers the afflicted by their affliction, and opens their ear by adversity" - Job 36:15    

...in difficult times, where we're faced with the filth of the world, and our own failures, may we learn to look to our Lord, and allow every struggle, every adversity... to open our ears to what He is trying to say to us, and what He is teaching us through it.
...In doing this we will learn the way of purity and holiness.

He is altogether different than me

I am reading through a book right now, called The School of Christ, by T. A. Sparks.  I was reading and rereading this one section in the beginning which talks about the "other-ness" of God.
"'For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
nor are your ways My ways,' declares the LORD.
'For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways,
and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"
-Isaiah 55:8-9

So often I think I can try and figure out how the Lord is going to works things out, but He has been reminding me and revealing to me that I cannot predict what is going to happen.  He is altogether different from me and His ways are not my ways.  A couple times recently I prayed for things and expected certain things to come of the prayers... thinking in this way it would lead me closer to Him... and God allowed the opposite to occur.  In my heart my intent was to draw nearer to the Lord, and to be undistracted by the stress of world and the temptations of the flesh.  But instead of making things easier, which I believed would help me draw nearer to Him, He made me face that which was even more difficult.
 ...which at first made me really frustrated.
          ...but in His wisdom through these things He brought me to a further place of desperation for my Lord, with a deeper longing for Him, and a heart that sought Him out more and more.
"in the anguish of childbirth, until Christ is formed in you" -Gal 6:19b

He truly longs for Christ to be formed in us.  For Christ to be fully revealed in us.  Crushing of my flesh and my soul must take place for this to become a reality.  I oftentimes think I know how God would make me into His image.  But in reality, I have not a clue, He is the master builder not I, He is the one working in me, not I.  He knows just the places that need chipping away at .. He knows just the times I need suffering to bring me back to Him, just the right amount of ache to keep me on my knees.
A brother once shared... "it is a good thing that this world is so terrible, otherwise we would grow too fond of it" ... the Lord beckons us; "Grow fond of Me..."


“Behold, I go forward, but he is not there,
    and backward, but I do not perceive him;
⁹ on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him;
    he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him.
¹⁰ But he knows the way that I take;
    when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold."
-Job 23:8-10

His ways are truly altogether different from mine... but they are indeed higher.  I do not know, but I pray he helps me trust His thoughts.  I do not see, but I pray that I can trust in Him to be my Vision.
I pray that whatever must me done to make me like Him, would be done.
May we have this heart as the Lord Jesus, "Not my will, but Thine be done".
Have Thine own way in us Lord, that You might be exalted in our lives and in your Church, that Christ might be formed in us.

true consecration

I came to the piano to sit and play through some worship songs this evening, and was just blessed to be in the Lord's presence.  It seems that often times this is the place the Lord seems to help me sort through the worries and commotion in my brain and process the different experiences I've faced in the past few days.  

It was in this time after a rough couple of weeks at work and not enough sleep... that I was able to again reflect and see the Lord's goodness and faithfulness ... even when things to us look somewhat cloudy, and when i've felt that it was difficult to press on... the Lord has given so much grace.  

After such a refreshing meeting with the body of Christ today, and a rekindling of the theme of consecration...I was reminded when I was playing through some hymns, that the Lord wants full control.  Often times when I say I'm giving something up to the Lord, I may let it go in a physical sense, and outwardly look as if it's not bothering me... but often times I still let these things plague my mind and my heart.  And I've realized that this is not true consecration, because true consecration is followed by peace.  

When I've truly given something up to the Lord, I have known great freedom afterwards, and have been filled with joy and peace, because in replace of whatever I've given to the Lord, I receive more of the Lord himself... and what a blessing that is!

But when I say to the Lord ...here you can have this... and then continue to let it rule over my decisions... i.e. how I spend my money.  Or if I say oh yes Lord, I do need to give my future up to you... and continue to analyze and try to figure how everything is going to pan out.  These ways are not true consecration.  

A brother in the Lord once shared, Isaac was not just a wee lad when he went on the alter, he was probably a young strapping man, and could have easily overtaken his father, Abraham, when God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac.  But Isaac must have had to have known what was going on in some sense, and was willing to have his hands bound by his father... and willing to go to the alter, and in doing so he helped Abraham obey the Lord. 

Are we willing to have our hands bound by the father, and go to the alter without argument?

If not, may the Lord teach us how to say "Lord, make me willing" as our brother F.B. Meyer said to the Lord when he was not able to give up to the Lord something that was very special to him.  

In true consecration we find that once we give up control we are blessed with such freedom in the Lord.  When we go through our lives point by point and lay each part of our decisions, and how we spend our time,  how we spend out money, giving up our future, and where we choose to meet for church gatherings, giving up the right to our job, and a perfect family, and letting go of the worldly influences we've let into our lives.  When we bring these things before the Lord one by one, and truly consecrate them to the Lord...it's like the chains that the world has on our limbs are gradually loosed... so we have one part of us that is for Jesus only, Jesus ever and then we give up something else and another part is freed to be for Jesus only, Jesus ever.       

This sounds hard, but once it is done... the blessing of having more of the Lord is beyond your wildest dreams worth it. He is soo good.  and He is more than enough.  What a wonderful Lord is Jesus my King.  :)

May we learn to lay it all down and let it go to the alter... that the Life of Christ might be Lord in us, and that we might know more of His presence.  :)

"Therefore, I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship" - Romans 12:1

the desert

so many friends have been going through a time in their life lately where they have felt like God has pulled them out into the wilderness.  a so-called long and windy road to the promised land.  so many seem to be experiencing this pull from the Lord to get out of the world, and to just come and be alone with the Lord.  A place full of uncertainty, full of questions, full of our own attempts to satisfy this longing within for something more...  

in my own life the Lord has challenged me recently to give up some things that I have held on to for too long.  To give up my expectations of how my life is going to turn out, and to learn to be satisfied with the Lord, even if He is  all I ever receive, is He enough?

"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
        My hope is in You" - Psalm 39:7

He's also challenging me to simplify my life, to put away the overkill of technology, put away the time wasted doing things that have no eternal value, and to learn to take more time to sit before Him, take more time searching His word, and focusing on what His purpose is in each day, learning to not forsake the little things he asks of us.  

...when the israelites were in the desert, they had 2 certainties, 1 - that when they woke up every day, there would be manna there for them to collect, and  2 - the pillar of cloud/fire would always lead them to their next place.  But what caused them to stumble time and time again... is when they sought out egypt, when they saught things that were more pleasing to the eye and fulfilling to the senses, like the golden calf.  They got caught on complaining because they did not trust the Lord.  They had no vision of the promised land, and started getting tired of waiting for the Lord to act.

Do we get tired of waiting for the Lord to act?  Honestly?

... you know why this is?   .. it seems to me that this is because we are waiting for the blessings of God, and not actually waiting on the Lord Himself.  For if we were to wait upon the Lord Himself, we would know His satisfaction.  As a friend recently reminded me of a hymn "once it was the blessing, now it is the Lord" (http://www.biblebelievers.com/simpson-ab_himself.html).

It is a hard thing to go through the desert in our Christian walk.  It feels alone, it feels deprived of "good feelings", it feels lacking in revival... and at times the light seems dim.  But every day the Lord gave the israelites manna, and He lead them by the cloud/fire, and this was certain.  This is also certain for us that He will provide us with Himself, the bread of Life, and He will be our portion for each day.  And he promises to lead us and tell us to move when the time is right (note that the timing is not always when we think it should be).
He will not leave is us in the desert, but this time is so very much needed in our Christian life.  We need to learn to be set apart from the world, we need to learn to be attracted to the Lord without all the blessings, and learn to know the Lord as our portion, our one true Blessing.  Is this not a true test of our faith?  When everything else is pulled out from under us... are we still seeking the face of our Lord?  ..."to whom else shall we go?" -john 6:68
...and when we come into fellowship with our glorious Lord, how precious it becomes to sit at His feet and wait before Him like Mary did.  To listen to his voice, and to know our God, who defines love.  His voice penetrates all the stuff that we've built up as our "protection" as our "security" as our "hope" ... and He shows us by His gentle hand that He Is ENOUGH, and so much MORE than enough.  He is the overflowing fountain that wells up within us when deep calls unto deep.

..so may we not be discouraged that the Lord brings us into the desert because of His love for us.  So that we might depart from all that is all is of the flesh and of the world and enter into all that is good and right and pure and loving and just and holy, etc... that which is of God and is everlasting and with purpose.

May we learn to eat of his manna and be filled and wait for his word before we move.

the love of God

"The love of God is greater far

1. Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
   It goes beyond the highest star,
   And reaches to the lowest hell;
   The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
   God gave His Son to win;
   His erring child He reconciled,
   And pardoned from his sin.
   • Refrain:
     Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
     How measureless and strong!
     It shall forevermore endure—
     The saints’ and angels’ song.
2. When hoary time shall pass away,
   And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
   When men who here refuse to pray,
   On rocks and hills and mountains call,
   God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
   All measureless and strong;
   Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—
   The saints’ and angels’ song.
3. Could we with ink the ocean fill,
   And were the skies of parchment made,
   Were every stalk on earth a quill,
   And every man a scribe by trade;
   To write the love of God above
   Would drain the ocean dry;
   Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
   Though stretched from sky to sky."

"Verse 3 was penciled on the wall of a narrow room in an insane asylum by a man said to have been demented. The profound lines were discovered when they laid him in his coffin."

_________________________

in the last month, I have just felt overwhelmed by the Love of the Lord.  I realized over and over again, how the Lord's work of the cross in our lives, is really a work of His great love.  And in everything He's drawing us closer and closer to the center of Himself.  how glorious!  

...today I was thinking about our attempt at saving this world from poverty.... but if you go to Uganda, one of the poorest nations... you'll see some of the happiest people. In reality, we need to be saved from our wealth.   ... what we have backwards is that trials are bad.  that fires are to be fought with all our strength, and that we must do our best to avoid that which brings us to a place of discomfort.  

...but what if the fires burn away the dross?  What if it purifies the vessel? what if it brings this world out of complacency and darkness and brings us into the fullness of the love of God?                        

                           ...may we not despise the cross.  For it is our saving grace.  

not only Jesus' dying on the cross, but the cross working out in our lives is our daily salvation.  it saves us from ourselves, from the world, and brings us into the fullness of God that we were called to live in that Christ might be "all and in all".  

the world says there can't be a God because of all the suffering that they see... but look within the suffering and chaos... and you will find those who feel more loved than the most wealthy celebrity, and the most powerful politician.  In pain and darkness, we come to know the depths of the Father's love.  And how incredibly wonderful it is.  who would choose any other way?! this is the way of love, oh how blessed it is to walk in it!  Come rain or shine, my Father's love constrains me to answer His call.