I bought a new car today. yay. that means i can finally not worry about jumping it so frequently, getting it fixed so often, etc., and be able to use it to cart people around without worrying about it dying on me :-p.
However, something about having a new car made me uneasy as I was reflecting on today's events, and things I've been learning recently in the Lord.
I think it's the comfort that makes me nervous.
I've always seemed to be able to connect with sad movies, and broken people. And as I think of giving up a broken down car, even though I've heard people say many times... jess when are you going to buy a new car?? I feel like staying broken keeps me more dependent. And while in the world that may be a bad thing... with the Lord it is a good thing.
I love the beat up saturn with the two dents, the glued mirror, the stained seats, the locks & fan that have a mind of their own... and the battery that works when it wants to.
As I plunked around on the piano this evening, I was reminded of how drawn I am to broken people, to circumstances that are not quite perfect, to jeans with holes in them, and even the beat up saturn. I was reminded how much I love people that even though are a little dirty, and wounded from the world, are people that are real. Perfection in this life = falsehood. If you have a perfect life on this earth, you are living in a false reality. And because of this you cannot know the healing touch of Jesus, you cannot know the depths of His love, and the peace that surpasses all understanding.
So even though, I do feel it was the Lord's will for me to get a new vehicle. I feel as the Lord reminded me that comfort and wordly perfection in this world is not what we're after, we are after His Kingdom, & His righteousness, and the only way to get there is through brokenness.
it seems like so many have faced difficult circumstances lately... so many I've talked to recently are in this state of limbo, where we're all not quite sure of the next step in our lives.
...But as we've been reminded through the many horrid news reports lately, this world is only getting darker, and we need to draw near to the Lord, and to His word and to brothers and sisters, that we might continue to be His light in this dark place.
I know I've been really distracted lately... by being caught up in the hustle and bustle of work where the busyness never seems to end,... by my personal life and wondering what the Lord's will is there ... and just the endless distractions of the world. I've just felt kinda disconnected from the Lord in some ways... but some of a brother's sharings this past weekend helped remind me that I'm here in Seattle for a purpose... to be His light. And I need to not get so caught up in my present circumstances... but press on towards the goal in Christ Jesus. To seek out His purpose in each day... and to live according to the grace He gives.
I pray that as we face different challenges we can continue to encourage and build one another up in the Lord. For His grace is sufficient for us, His power made perfect in weakness.
May the peace of God which surpasses all understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
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