I was listening to a Chris Tomlin song on the way home and this line always seems to jump out at me... "if this life i lose i will follow you", in all it's heroicness (yea i think i made up that word), and it's implication that whatever happens in this life I will still follow the Lord. Which seems very much to be correct...
But the Lord seemed to speak to me in this... He was saying... it is not IF you lose this life, it is WHEN.
...it's not that I'm only here to bring you out of the pit when you fall into it, but my purpose in working in your life is to show you that you must lose it. So oftentimes i will let you sit in the pit for a while until you realize you need to let go of your life and submit.
I was in a hurry to bring some things in to a meeting tonight, and while i had my hands full, i accidentally dropped my keys in the front seat of my car after i had locked the doors from the inside... only to find out later when someone was trying to pull out from behind me that i was not going to be able to get into my car without some serious breaking in or AAA.
...this is not the first time this has happened. But the people pleasing side of me gets so frustrated with myself because i caused others inconvenience and i just hate making other people unhappy (which no one seemed to be really, but still the thought of it). So many times through the last few years there have been so many times where i've made stupid mistakes... like little things... just enough to drive me nuts... not so much the people around me... but it's like the Lord knows exactly what we need to break us of ourselves, and bring us to the point of letting our lives go.
I'm sooo consumed with the horizontal and so often forget the eternal... i focus on my own mistakes and my own capabilities instead of fixing my eyes upon Jesus. Of course I'm going to continue tripping unless i look up and look away to Jesus instead of on man. For my life is an offering unto Him and no one else, for I belong to Him.
if we are pursuing the Lord, we will all, at the end, lose our life... because in the end it will be all Christ, no ifs, ands, or buts, everything else will be consumed by fire. The question becomes then... how long will it take us to give it up and submit... are we going to keeping fighting it? Or are we going to submit and let the inevitable happen now, so that the Lord can bring more blessing through our lives, and let us be more useful to Him now!
Praise the Lord this is possible with the Lord's grace and a heart that cries "Lord make me willing!".
